Paradox
by sauscony
Summary: B/R, B/G - A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)
1. Prologue

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Prologue * * * * *

Fate _really_ sucks sometimes, you know that? 

When I was a kid, growing up in what - if I'm going to be honest, and I guess I have to be while telling this story - was a classic unhappy home, I was fascinated by the idea of time travel. 

What if I could go back in time and fix things, correct the mistakes? Turn indifference into love, criticism into compassion, people living behind masks into the true, alive, human beings they were supposed to be. 

I could make my father love my mother - love her for her courage, her strength and her own unique personality that he sees only as an embarrassment - not just for her beauty and her body. If that is even love... 

I could give my mother back her sense of self-esteem; the power and strength and self-reliance I only ever saw the ghostly remains of when I was a child, as she tried to mould herself to be what my father wanted her to be. 

And maybe, just maybe, I could make my father love me, make my mother have the guts to stand up to him. 

Maybe. 

Then I got older. 

For starters, I learned that time travel wasn't actually possible. But even then I still had my imagination, and I could dream, couldn't I? After all, science was advancing every day. 

Next, I found out about temporal paradoxes. Like the famous one about how if you went back in time and killed your grandfather you would never be born, so you couldn't go back in time and he would survive and you _would_ be born, so you could go back in time and kill your grandfather... And so on and on and on. You get the idea. 

So on the day when I had an unexpected visitor - a most supernatural visitor of the kind my father refused to believe in and my mother never mentioned - who told me that under certain conditions time travel _was_ possible, I was aware of the dangers. But I decided to go anyway. The reward sounded worth it. All my childhood dreams come true. 

All I had to do was make my mother happy. 

I just resolved not to kill any of my grandparents. 

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. 

My father named me Rebecca - Rebecca Finn, after his sister who died when she was a baby - and despite what I was told before I agreed to undertake this misadventure, once I had been there for a while I began to suspect that the real reason for my presence was something completely different from what I had been led to believe. 

After all, there's more than one way to make sure someone is happy. 

Like I said, sometimes Fate really sucks. 


	2. One

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * One * * * * *

After a misspent youth he tried never to talk about, years spent training with the Watchers' Council and almost four years in Sunnydale, most of that time spent living over an active Hellmouth, Rupert Giles thought he'd either read about or seen it all. Of course, that sort of assumption has about the same sort of effect on Fate as a red rag does on a bull. 

He _certainly_ never expected to have a young woman appear out of the empty air and crash to a sprawling heap on his bathroom floor, all while he was cleaning his teeth. 

He had the presence of mind to spit out his mouthful of toothpaste before going to her assistance. It was only as he held out a hand that he realised he was still holding his toothbrush. Not sure what else to do, he tossed it behind him, relying totally on instinct, and was gratified to hear the sound of plastic hitting porcelain. He wiped his hand surreptitiously on his pyjama bottoms and knelt beside his fallen visitor. 

She had hit the floor at an awkward angle and was only now trying to raise her head, her expression dazed and a little confused. 

_Hardly surprising,_ he reflected, recalling her arrival. Remembering his own many brushes with concussion, he asked gently, "Are you all right?" 

She blinked at him a couple of times, then shook her head, as if trying to clear it. All that did was cause her to scrunch up her face in pain and bury it in her hands. Cautiously, Giles laid a hand gently on her shoulder and she looked up slowly. The confusion began to clear a little, only to return as she looked around the bathroom and finally settled her gaze back on him. 

"Where the f - " She caught herself, swallowed once and tried again, her voice a little steadier than it had been on those first two words. "Where am I?" A furrow settled across her brow as she frowned. "Who are you?" 

Giles decided to answer the last question first. "My name is Rupert Giles," he said calmly. "And you're in my bathroom." 

For the first time, there was a flicker of amusement on her face, replacing the pain and confusion. "So I am," she agreed. "Where's you bathroom?" 

"In my flat," he answered automatically and she gave him a typical teenager's look, the expression well familiar to him by now. "In Sunnydale," he elaborated. 

Still no response. Well, she had just popped through some kind of interdimensional portal. 

"You're on Earth," he clarified. "In a place called the United States." 

If possible, the look got even more pronounced. "Well, duh! I knew that, even if your accent is kind of out of place." She looked around the bathroom again, starting to look frightened for the first time. "I meant which State? I am still in I - ?" There was a pause. "Which State are we in?" she asked more calmly. 

"California," Giles supplied. 

"Whoa." She looked surprised. "I can't imagine them in California." She shook her head, an action that was clearly less painful this time, and decided to have a try at standing up. Giles moved instinctively to help her and this time she let him. 

On her feet at last, she smiled at him, a sudden flash of brightness in her face. "Thanks." 

Finally, Giles had a chance to really take a look at his unexpected visitor. He judged her to be about eighteen, with dark hair pulled back into a braid, only the escaped tendrils around her face showing it had a tendency to curl. She was wearing jeans and a white top with spaghetti straps and an embroidered ivy pattern around the bottom edge. Somehow, she managed to look completely at home and totally out of place at the same time. 

She made use of the mirror to twist a few lose strands of hair back into her plait, and now she turned back to look at him. "I don't want to appear rude or anything, Mr ... ah ... Giles, wasn't it? But why am I in _your_ bathroom, or even your house at all? I mean, I've never even heard of you." 

It was, Giles thought, a very good question. 

"How about I make us both a cup of tea, and we'll see if we can come up with an answer." 

"Tea?" She sounded more intrigued by that than anything else that had happened so far this morning. "I've never drunk tea. I'd like that." 

Wondering what the Hellmouth had thrown at them this time, Giles led the way out of the bathroom. 

* * * * *

With the tea brewing in the china teapot sitting on the coffee table, his visitor sitting at one end of the couch and himself at the other, Giles was beginning to feel a little more in control of the situation. Of course, the fact he'd also taken the time to dash upstairs and get dressed was probably helping. All the same, he didn't know how long the feeling was going to last - probably not very long at all going on past experience - so he was enjoying it while he could. 

She looked calmer now, curious even, and he hoped that meant that between them they might be able to work out what was going on. 

He started with a easy question. "What's your name?" 

The girl blinked, as if she didn't know the answer. "Becca," she answered finally. "Rebecca. Rebecca, ah ..." She trailed off into silence for a moment. "Smith," she added after a second's thought. "Becca Smith." 

Giles believed the Becca. He didn't buy the Smith for an instant, but he sensed this wasn't the time to push it. 

"Where did you come from?" he asked instead. 

"Home," she answered instantly. "Indiana." 

"So you're from our dimension," Giles said thoughtfully. "Hopefully that's a point in our favour. How did you get here?" 

Becca glanced around the apartment for a second. "I don't _know_," she said in frustration. "I don't know who you are, and I haven't got a clue why I'm _here_." 

Giles frowned. "Tell me exactly what happened," he suggested gently, as he picked up the pot and started pouring the tea. 

For an instant, an almost regretful expression crossed Rebecca's face, followed immediately by a resolved, calculating look. Giles, busy with the teacups, didn't see either. "I was happily minding my own business at home and now I'm here," she said with a shrug. "That's about it." 

Giles handed her a teacup, which she took with a nod of thanks. "There must be more than that," he insisted. "Home is in Indiana, right?" 

Becca nodded. "We live on a farm in Indiana." 

"And how did the portal appear?" Giles persisted. 

"Portal?" She looked up at him, her cup half raised to her lips. "What's a portal?" 

"A portal is ... well ... ah ... " Giles took a sip of his own tea and started again. "Basically, a portal is a hole in space. You must have gone through one at your end, because you came out of one here." 

"Oh." Understanding flooded her voice. "You mean the green swirly thing." She swallowed a mouthful of tea, frowned thoughtfully and then took another one. "You know, this isn't half bad." 

"Thank you," Giles answered ironically. "The portal?" 

Her gaze, normally sharp and piercing, went a little unfocussed as she remembered. "Well, it just sort of appeared. When I got close to it, it kind of dragged me in, and then I was face down on your bathroom floor." She looked up at him, a sudden smile on her face. "It's been a weird day all round, you know?" 

Since coming to Sunnydale, Giles had a lot of weird days. He nodded. "I know." 

"It was like ... like walking through jello," she said slowly. "Or maybe swimming. Oh, and it was lime," she added unexpectedly. 

Giles blinked. "Lime?" 

"The jello," Becca explained. "It was lime." 

He couldn't decide whether to laugh or frown. "Let me get this straight. Travelling through a translocational portal was like walking through lime jelly?" 

"Or swimming," Becca agreed. "But it was jello, not jelly. Or is that just an accent thing? Cause yours is weird. Where do you come from anyway?" 

"England," Giles answered automatically. "And ... " He stopped, seeing the stricken look on her face. "What is it, Rebecca?" 

"I'm sorry," she said breathlessly. "I'm so very sorry. That was really rude." She hesitated. "I think I've been rude ever since I got here. I'm not usually, I promise. My father brought me up better than that." She gave him a lopsided, apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Mr Giles." 

Something about the whole exchange made Giles profoundly uneasy. For a moment he was thirteen again, spending the holidays with a school friend. He and Billy had been teasing the Thorpe's cook about the trifle she was making for dinner and whether or not sherry was appropriate for the young men they thought themselves to be, when he had suddenly heard his father's voice, dangerously quiet and cool, chastising him for his insolence. He had apologised profusely, exactly as Rebecca had just done to him. But Cook had only laughed and fed them both on bread straight out of the oven and freshly made jam. He had realised that day that life wasn't as black and white as his father always proclaimed. There were some people with whom you had to be properly polite, with most people though, being yourself and applying a little common courtesy was more than appropriate. 

If Rebecca hadn't had a chance to learn that important lesson yet, he was damn well going to make sure she did now. He might only have known her for approximately an hour, but he could already tell she had too much spirit and character not to express herself fully. 

"Just Giles is fine," he assured her. "Almost everyone I know just calls me Giles." He reached out and lifted her chin so that she was forced to look at him. "And I don't think you were rude. Overwhelmed and a little tactless perhaps, but we all have our bad days." He saw her almost smile and grinned at her. "That's better. You be yourself, I'll be myself and we'll figure out exactly how you got here and how to get you home again." 

For a moment she still looked dubious, then she nodded. "Okay." 

"Right." Giles took a relieved sip of his tea and was annoyed to find it had started to cool past the point he liked it. He put it down again with a sigh. "Unfortunately, I think it's going to take us a little while to work out how you got here and how to get you back again. Unless we just put you on a bus back to Indiana." 

He looked up to see Becca shaking her head vigorously. "Don't you think I came though this portal thing for a reason? Shouldn't we find out what it is?" 

Giles looked at her a little more closely, surprised by the desperation in her eyes. _What is it you're not telling me, Miss 'Smith'?_ He considered pushing it on the spot, but the last thing he wanted was for her to bolt on him. Better to let it rest for the moment. 

"Perhaps you're right," he agreed carefully. "But I think first we need to find you a place to stay for the duration. You can't stay here." 

"Why not? If they sent me here, maybe I should stay here?" 

"If who sent you?" Giles queried, his suspicions rising again. 

"Ah..." For an instant Becca looked cornered, then she shrugged. "Whoever opened the portal and pushed me through it. Someone must have." 

"Well, such things can open spontaneously," Giles said thoughtfully, side- tracked by the puzzle at hand. "But you're right - usually it takes some outside force to open a portal, especially when it closes again so neatly behind the traveller like that one did. Hmm..." He was already mentally cataloguing his books, deciding which ones to check first. 

"So I can stay here?" Becca said. 

"What?" Giles forced his attention back to the girl across the sofa from him. She had put down her teacup and was looking at him with a beseeching, oddly familiar look. 

"No, you can't," he said firmly. "You're what - seventeen, eighteen?" 

"Nearly eighteen," she confirmed in a small voice. 

"Having an unknown seventeen year old suddenly staying with a confirmed old bachelor like me would not exactly be the best course of action." 

Becca's face fell, and for a second she looked closer to fourteen. "But I don't know anyone else. Just you." 

"It's all right," Giles reassured her. "I know someone you can stay with. She's got a daughter not much older than you and they are both _very_ used to weird things. You'll be fine." She didn't look particularly convinced. "We'll sort everything out," Giles insisted. "I promise." 

The grateful look she gave him clearly showed she believed that promise implicitly. He just hoped he'd be able to live up to it. 

* * * * *

"Giles. Rupert. What can I do for you?" Joyce Summers stood in her doorway, a little surprised at the identity of her visitor. Usually Buffy disappeared to Giles' apartment, rather than him arriving on her doorstep. "I'm afraid Buffy's not here." 

"Actually, I'm not looking for Buffy." Giles looked vaguely uncomfortable. It was an expression she had seen on his face before, back when... Well, back when that thing they were _never_ going to mention again had happened. But this time she was sure it didn't have anything to do with her. Or cursed candy. Or... Well, or _that_. All the same, it wouldn't hurt to be sure. 

"You're looking for me?" 

"Yes. Exactly. Well, sort of. I mean yes." 

Unable to help herself, Joyce laughed. "Relax, Rupert. How can I help?" 

"I, ah, I have someone who needs a place to stay. I thought it might be best if she stayed with you." 

Joyce was getting more and more curious by the moment. "Do I know this person?" 

Giles stepped sideways, and it was only then that Joyce saw he had someone with him. A girl, a little younger than Buffy she guessed, who was watching her cautiously. 

"Hi," Joyce offered. "I'm Joyce Summers." 

The girl stepped out from behind Giles, staring at her as if she was some kind of apparition come to life. She smiled, a brilliant, sparkling smile that made her look momentarily beautiful. "I'm Becca. But I'm Joyce too. Becca Joyce." 

"Smith," Giles added dryly, but neither woman seemed to notice. Joyce was looking bemused, Rebecca almost awed. He felt like he'd just been handed another piece to the puzzle, he just didn't have enough of them yet to make any kind of coherent picture. 

Becca had bit her lip, still smiling at Joyce. "I can't believe I've got to meet you. And you know Giles and..." Her voice dropped away into silence. "Mom," she whispered. "My mom, she, you..." 

"Rebecca?" Giles prompted. 

She seemed to come back to earth with a bump. "Ah, my mom will be wondering where I am." 

Joyce shifted automatically into mothering mode. "Your mother doesn't know where you are? Do you want to call her? She'll be worried about you." She was remembering the summer Buffy had run away, the awful, gnawing worry that never went away until the day her daughter had reappeared on her doorstep. She wouldn't wish that fear on any mother. "We should call her." 

Becca looked up at Giles. "Can we do that?" 

"I don't know," he admitted honestly. "We could try. It would at least give us an idea if you only crossed space, or if there was some kind of interdimensional travel involved as well. Some alternate realities are very close to our own." 

_Hellmouth stuff,_ Joyce thought with an internal sigh. _So much for the possibility of a normal visitor._

"You'd better all come in," she said firmly. "Becca, you're very welcome to stay with us until whatever-it-is gets sorted out." She turned a firm gaze on Giles. "And you're not leaving this house, Rupert Giles, until I know what's going on. And how it affects Buffy." 

"Right now, I have no idea if this will involve Buffy or not," Giles admitted as he followed Joyce and Becca inside. "Right now I'm not even sure exactly what _this_ is." 

Joyce closed the door behind them and ushered her guests into the living room. "So tell me what you _do_ know." 

"What's an alternate reality?" Becca asked suddenly as she sat in the armchair across from the couch. 

"Well..." Giles began and was immediately interrupted by Joyce. 

She pointed at the couch and said flatly, "Sit." 

Giles opened his mouth, closed it again and obediently sat, looking a little shocked. 

Joyce crossed the room and disappeared for a moment, returning shortly with a portable telephone. She handed it to Becca. "Call your folks," she said in that same firm, flat voice. "Then we'll talk." 

"Ah, Joyce..." Giles tried again, but she silenced him with a glare. 

"Call," she repeated. 

Looking a little as if her fingers were working on automatic, Becca started punching numbers into the phone. Watching her, Giles was struck by a sudden sense of familiarity, something in the way she sat, the way she held herself. The phone made a succession of little beeps as she pressed each button and it was only as she lifted it to her ear that he realised she had dialled too many numbers. Unless she was calling overseas - _And Joyce will love that when she gets the bill_ - but she'd said she was from Indiana. That was states away, not continents. 

Rebecca listened for a moment, then wordlessly held the phone out to Joyce. Buffy's mother took it, listened and frowned, then passed it on to Giles. He listened to the high pitched tone that indicated an out-of-service number for a moment, then ended the call as a woman's voice began a recorded message. 

"Are you sure you got the number right?" he asked Becca, remembering the sound of one or two too many beeps as she dialled. 

The girl nodded firmly. 

"If you tell me the number, I could try again," he offered and was surprised by the swiftness and vehemence of her refusal. 

"I got it right," she insisted. "There's nothing there." She stared at him for a moment, a sudden, inexplicable vulnerability on her face and then repeated her earlier question. "What's an alternate reality?" 

Giles frowned, exchanging a glance with Joyce. She shrugged and he sighed and tried to answer the question without sounding too much like a text book. Of the bizarre. 


	3. Two

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Two * * * * *

Buffy strolled along Revello Drive, enjoying the feel of the daylight on her shoulder blades and the normality of the moment. She'd left Willow at the Espresso Pump waiting for Tara and walked home, feeling safe in the knowledge they'd managed to put their damaged friendship back together. She'd seen Giles before patrol last night and Xander earlier in the day and she knew they were right with each other again. Riley was back from his debriefing tomorrow, Adam was an increasing distant memory, school was out and the monsters seemed to have taken a vacation of their own. There was even Scooby fun planned for the evening before patrol. In fact, all was right with the world. It might not last very long, but she was going to enjoy it while it did. 

She paused for a moment to watch four small children shrieking with delight as they played under a garden sprinkler, carefully watched from a safely dry distance by their mothers. It was such a rare thing, to hear the gleeful laughter of children in Sunnydale, and Buffy found herself grinning, a little startled to discover the expression felt unfamiliar on her face. 

One of the kids, a little girl of about three, with a mop of black curls who was running around clad only in Sesame Street knickers, saw her and waved. Buffy laughed and waved back and the child pulled a face at her and went back to playing in the falling water. 

Buffy skipped up the steps to her own front door, her step a lot lighter than it had been in a long time, the grin still on her face. She pushed open the door and called out, "Mom, I'm home," as she let it swing shut behind her. 

Joyce appeared at the top of the stairs a moment later. "How was Willow?" she asked her daughter with a smile. 

"Very Willowy," Buffy answered whimsically, still caught up by that unusual feeling of happiness. 

"I'm glad you've made up," Joyce said, coming halfway down the stairs and stopping again. "Mr Giles was here," she added almost reluctantly. 

Buffy's head snapped up, the good mood gone in an instant. "What is it now?" she asked with a groan. "Vampires? Demons? The end of the world _again_?" 

Joyce shook her head, filled as usual with an impossible desire to shield her baby girl from anything bad in the world. It didn't matter that her girl was pushing twenty and the Vampire Slayer besides, she still wished she could do it. It had been a hard lesson for Joyce Summers to learn; that she couldn't protect her daughter from her own destiny. 

"A mystery." 

"A mystery?" Buffy repeated in a puzzled voice. 

"Hi," a voice said nervously from one side and Buffy turned to look into the lounge. She saw a girl standing there staring at her like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She looked to be a couple of years younger than Buffy, with long dark hair and big, serious blue eyes. There was something in her gaze that took Buffy's breath away, made her want to run for the hills and hug this stranger until her ribs cracked, both at the same time. 

"This is Becca," her mother's voice said from far away. "She's sort of lost. Mr Giles brought her to stay with us for a while." 

"Hi," Becca said again, her voice still breathless and nervous, and a sudden moment of unexpected insight made Buffy realise the other girl was having the exact same escape-or-embrace reaction she had. Buffy took a deep breath, chalked it up to Hellmouth-induced weirdness and tried for a friendly grin. 

"Hi, I'm Buffy." 

She got a shy smile in return. "Rebecca." 

Buffy strolled into the lounge with a casualness she didn't feel and flopped down onto the sofa. She wasn't surprised when Becca followed her. 

"So you have a mystery?" she asked. 

Becca smiled suddenly and Buffy was startled by the change it made in her. "I think I am the mystery. I appeared in Giles' bathroom this morning, through what he tells me is called a portal." For a second a mischievous grin appeared on the girl's face. "He was brushing his teeth." 

Buffy tired to picture Giles doing something that simple and domestic and was rather surprised by just how easy it was. It was when she found herself contemplating what he might have been wearing - or not wearing as the case might be - that she forced her thoughts back to Rebecca, sitting carefully in the armchair across from her. 

"Any idea where you came from?" 

"I know where I came from," Becca answered immediately. "I just don't know how to get back." 

Buffy raised her eyebrows. 

To her amazement, Rebecca's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes going wide. Something in her expression, surprised and scared and awed all at once, made Buffy want to rush across the room and hug her and make everything better, and that _really_ freaked her out. 

"Are you okay?' she asked, wondering if she sounded even vaguely okay herself. Somehow she doubted it. 

Becca swallowed, sniffed and nodded. "You just reminded me of my Mom," she said in a small voice. 

The wig factor went up a notch. Buffy wasn't ready to consider herself in the light of a mother. She didn't know if she would _ever_ feel herself ready to think about motherhood. And given the general lifespan of a Slayer, she probably wasn't ever going to have to worry about it. 

"Oh," she said quietly, a little at a loss for how to respond. "Can you call her or something?" 

"We tried that," Joyce answered, coming into the room on the end of the conversation. "The number doesn't exist. Mr Giles thinks Rebecca may come from a parallel dimension or something. He went home to research." The way she relayed the bizarre possibilities with such matter-of-factness caught Joyce by surprise. She wondered when she stopped fighting against Buffy's destiny and instead stepped whole-heartedly into her daughter's crazy world. Once, this would have sent her running screaming, now she stayed at home, waiting up for Buffy every night and trying to provide some semblance of normality while learning to accept the bizarre without blinking too much. And she rather thought Becca might need the same kind of treatment right now. 

"So what do you girls want for dinner? I've made the spare bed up for Becca and she can stay with us until Mr Giles figures out how to get her home again." 

She smiled at the younger girl, aware again that she was being watched as if she wasn't quite real. 

"Nah, Mom." Buffy shook her head. "The guys are coming round with pizza and stuff." She glanced at Becca again. "I better call Xander and tell him to bring extra." 

Joyce laughed. "Buffy honey, Xander _always_ brings extra." 

"Yeah, but there's extra and then there's _extra_," Buffy insisted with a grin as she found the phone on the coffee table and picked it up. "We don't want Becca to think we're stingy or anything." She started dialling. "Besides I'm providing the location, they're providing the food." 

Joyce shrugged and gave Rebecca a conspiratorial grin. "If you want anything that actually belongs in one of the five food groups, I'll have something in the kitchen." 

Buffy rolled her eyes at her mother and would have said something smart if Xander hadn't answered the phone. 

Rebecca looked from mother to daughter and back again, something fragile in her gaze, as if she was living in a dream from which she was afraid she would soon wake. 

* * * * * 

Willow and Tara arrived, bearing cookies and videos, about two minutes before Xander and Anya turned up with pizza, soda and a battered box Anya refused to relinquish. 

Becca watched all these people clatter in and make themselves at home, looking rather like a deer caught in oncoming headlights. Tara, having been there herself, smiled and tried to make her feel more at ease. 

"They're harmless, really," she promised with a gentle smile. "Just a little overwhelming at first." 

Becca nodded as Xander dumped pizza boxes on the coffee table and then draped himself all over one of the armchairs with all the familiarity of someone who did it often. Anya, still clutching her box, draped herself all over Xander. 

"Give it to me, honey," Xander suggested, but Anya shook her head and stared at Becca. 

"Who are you?" she asked bluntly. 

Becca recoiled without realising she was doing it and it was Buffy, a stack of plates in her arms, who came hurtling to the rescue. She dumped the plates in Willow's hands and glared at Anya. "This is Becca. She's staying with us until Giles figures out how to send her home." 

"Hellmouthy stuff," Xander said with an air of wisdom. 

Anya's eyes narrowed. "Are you a demon? You can't have Xander." 

"She's a normal human being," Buffy retorted. "Who might have come from a parallel universe," she added a little less certainly. "And she doesn't want Xander." She glanced at Becca. "Do you?" 

Unable to help herself, Becca laughed. "No," she promised Anya. "I don't want Xander. I just want to figure out why I'm here and how to go home." 

"A parallel dimension," Willow echoed thoughtfully. "Wow. I've read about those, but I've never met anyone who came from one. How different is it?" 

Rebecca shrugged, clearly not knowing how to answer the question. 

"She's only seen Giles' bathroom and our place," Buffy answered helpfully. "That's probably not enough to tell." 

"Giles' bathroom?" Xander looked intrigued. "What were you doing in Giles' bathroom?" 

"Having orgasms?" Anya suggested helpfully. 

Becca turned a brilliant shade of scarlet, choked and almost fell off her chair. Buffy glared at the ex-demon before helping the younger girl regain her balance and her composure. 

"Really, Ahn," Xander chided. He glanced around the room, at Willow and Tara's carefully expressionless faces, at Anya's uncomprehending one, at Buffy, furious and oddly protective of her strange houseguest. "Who's for pizza?" he asked a little too loudly. 

"Pizza," Willow agreed gratefully, grabbing a paper plate and a slice of Hawaiian and taking the nearest seat. "Tara and I brought movies," she added as her girlfriend followed her example. "We have _Singin' in the Rain_ and _Ladyhawke_, _Roman Holiday_, and _The Princess Bride_, just for Xander." 

"I vote for _Roman Holiday_," Tara said in her quiet voice. "How about you, Becca?" 

"I...I don't know," Becca said slowly. "I haven't heard of any of them." 

"What?" Xander demanded, looking scandalised. He put on his best movie- voice. "_Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die._" 

Becca shook her head and he sighed. "You've missed a true cultural experience." 

Willow smiled. "_There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead._" she quoted. 

Buffy smiled and spoke softly. "_Death cannot stop true love... All it can do is delay it for a while._" 

Rebecca was watching Buffy, whose eyes were suddenly far away. "I want to watch that one," she said with certainty. 

"But we're going to play my game," Anya broke in petulantly. 

Buffy shook away her thoughts and looked at Anya. "What game?" she asked cautiously. 

"Xander's question game," Anya answered as if that explained everything. 

"Please tell me we're not talking about Spin the Bottle," Willow begged in a worried voice. 

"No," Xander answered quickly, sounding terrified at the thought. "Anya found my old Trivial Pursuit game. I tried to explain trivia might not be her strongest suit, but she wouldn't listen." 

"We can play in teams," Anya insisted. "Xander and me, and Willow and Tara, and Buffy and Riley." 

"Ah, look around Anya," Buffy suggested. "No Riley. He doesn't get back until tomorrow." 

"Oh." Anya hesitated for a moment, then smiled broadly. "You can play with Rebecca instead." She dumped the box on the coffee table. "It's agreed." 

Xander gave his friends an apologetic look. 

* * * * * 

Ten minutes later _Ladyhawke_ was playing in the VCR - a compromise choice - everyone was eating pizza and the Trivial Pursuit board was set up on the coffee table. 

Anya had claimed the pink playing piece and no-one dared argue with her. Willow and Tara had chosen green and Buffy and Becca found they had quickly agreed on the blue. 

Tara was rolling the dice when Becca leaned over to Buffy and whispered quietly, "I don't know how to play this." 

Buffy shook her head. "You really are from another dimension, aren't you?" Seeing Becca's expression she reassured her quickly. "It's easy. We get asked totally pointless questions and we try and answer them. Xander, the king of totally pointless, will probably win." 

"Hey, I heard that," Xander protested, trying to sound offended. 

"Unless the topics were demons and magic and mythology," Buffy continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Then if Giles was here he'd win hands down." 

"He's a Watcher," Tara pointed out mildly. "He's got a natural advantage." 

"An unfair advantage," Buffy corrected, but she was grinning. 

"What's a Watcher?" Becca asked carefully. 

Buffy shook her head. "This Slayer's off-duty tonight. At least until it's patrol time. I'll explain later." She fished a card out of the box beside her, glanced at the board to check which colour question she was asking and waved the card at Willow and Tara. "Trivia time! What flower family is the apple a member of?" 

Willow blinked at her friend. "You've got to be kidding!" 

"That's what the card says," Buffy insisted. She handed it across to Becca. "Back me up here, partner." 

"That's what it says," she agreed. 

Willow pulled a face and Buffy laughed. "Don't know everything after all, huh Wills?" 

"The rose family," Tara said in her soft voice and it was Willow's turn to grin as Buffy's face fell. 

She leaned over to give her girlfriend a hug and poked her tongue out at Buffy. "See, my girl's a genius." 

Buffy cheerfully glared back. "So throw again already." She handed the box of question cards to Becca. "Your turn. Hopefully you'll get one the smarty witches can't answer." 

The appellation of _witch_ confused Becca for a moment, but after Willow had moved their marker piece and Becca checked the card for the next question, it seemed ironically appropriate. 

"Which animals did the British stop executing for witchcraft in 1712?" 

Anya's hand shot into the air. "I know that one! I know that one!" 

"Hush, honey," Xander interrupted hurriedly. "It isn't our question. Let Will and Tara answer." 

"But I know the answer," Anya protested grumpily. 

"It's not our turn," Xander repeated. 

Anya subsided with a frown, but Becca was close enough to hear her whisper, "Cats," about half a second before Willow answered the question correctly. 

* * * * *

For Rebecca, only child of a well-disciplined home, that evening was a revelation. These people were insane, in a warm, comforting way she had never experienced before. They were a family, bound together by bonds she couldn't imagine that, judging by some of the things that were said, were far more bizarre - and dangerous - than falling though a swirly green vortex into someone's bathroom. 

Anya was totally unacquainted with any concept of tact, and after turning various shades of crimson at her blunt comments, Becca slowly began to get used to it. She was hopeless at the game and her frustration at her lack of knowledge was only matched by her delight whenever her boyfriend could answer one of the questions, allowing her to push the pink marker around the board and gleefully add the little plastic chips that were the point of the game. 

Xander was like the life and heart of the group, occasionally cringing at the things his girlfriend said, full of useless facts of trivia as Buffy had warned, a fount of bad jokes and silly comments and possessed of an integral honesty that was completely new to the younger girl. 

Red-haired Willow was thoughtful and intelligent, with a hidden insecurity Becca could recognise because she carried one of her own. She was clearly Buffy's friend to the end of time and the love she had for Tara was obvious in her voice and her posture and the light in her eyes when she looked at the other woman. 

Tara was Willow's quieter shadow, seemingly still a little overwhelmed by this "family" she had found herself in, and Becca liked her all the more for that. This boisterous, irreverent gathering was so unlike anything she had ever known and while part of her yearned to jump in with both feet, there was another part of her, the one trained by the experiences and expectations of her childhood, that was terrified by it. 

But one thing was clearly obvious - Willow and Tara loved each other and the utter simplicity of it made Becca wonder yet again about the truth of the many absolutes her father had tried to teach her as she grew up. Love was love was love and surely turning away from it was a greater wrong. 

And then there was Buffy. 

Buffy was a revelation Becca couldn't get enough of. She was fun, she was silly, she clearly loved these friends of hers as if they were family. She laughed as she tried and failed to answer the impossibly trivial questions; occasionally she snapped and her friends shrugged it off as if it was typical. She praised Becca with glowing delight when the younger girl knew an answer she didn't and crowed with slightly malicious satisfaction when they pulled ahead of Xander and Anya. 

She was far from perfect, but she was bright and alive and so full of spirit and life that Becca felt like she was being blinded by it. And she felt she would be willing to go sightless forever just to keep that light alive. 

* * * * * Aside I * * * * * 

I couldn't believe this bright, laughing, confident woman. Watching her teasing her friends, lighting the room with her presence and her personality made me want to cry inside. But I couldn't decide if it was in sorrow over what I knew was to come or in joy at the person she had been and I had now been blessed to meet. 


	4. Three

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Three * * * * *

"What's a Watcher?" 

Giles looked up from the leather-bound book he was studying and gave Rebecca a rueful look. "I should have known that one was coming, shouldn't I?" he asked rhetorically. 

Becca nodded. "And why would you be good with questions about demons and magic and mythology and are Willow and Tara _really_ witches?" There was a pause and then Becca asked the most important question because it was about Buffy. "And what's a Slayer?" 

Giles put the book back on his desk, carefully marking his page with an unopened bill, and guided Becca to a seat on the couch. 

"How about I make us some tea?" he suggested. 

He got a funny look in return. "Do you always do that? Make tea when you have to explain something complicated?" 

Giles gave a short bark of laughter. "Busted," he admitted, still chuckling. "Just don't give me away, okay?" 

He got up to make the tea and Becca watched him go with a smile on her face. She liked him. She liked them all, even though she hardly knew them. And there was a small part inside of her that was growing angry that she had never even known they existed before this. 

And best of all, Giles had promised to answer all her questions, not brushed her off and told her to go and play. That might have worked when she was six, but now she was seventeen, almost eighteen, it was both annoying and insulting. 

Giles came back with a pot of tea, two china cups with saucers and a plate of what he called biscuits and she called cookies. Whatever, they tasted great and the two of them agreed to disagree on the whole name issue. 

"I feel like I can say anything here," Becca said in wonder. "I don't have to censor everything three times before I say it in case it's wrong, I can just say it and see what happens." 

Giles frowned, not liking what the comment implied, but responded only to her spoken statement. "You only learn by asking questions," he pointed out. "And it's impossible to form your own, informed opinions unless you get to try them out. Otherwise you're just spouting off someone else's ideas and that's no good for you or them." 

Becca dunked her cookie in her tea, the way Giles had just done and answered thoughtfully. "But what if you're rude, or you offend people?" 

"You don't strike me as the kind of person who is naturally rude," Giles pointed out. "And sometimes people need to be confronted with their own opinions." 

"But my f - " She stopped and carefully started again. "Don't grown ups know better than us kids?" 

Giles laughed mirthlessly. "Not necessarily," he said firmly. "And you'd better eat that biscuit before the soggy bit falls off the bottom back into your tea." 

He sounded like he was speaking from experience, so Becca hastily shoved the food into her mouth, finding she rather liked the mushy, tea-flavoured mess and immediately understanding the 'falling apart' danger. 

"But they're older," she pointed out, getting back on topic. 

"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser," he said gravely. "Sometimes it does, but often it doesn't. Besides, how old are you, eighteen didn't you say?" 

"Almost," Becca agreed. "In two months." 

"I think that's quite old enough for you to be doing your own thinking," Giles said firmly. "Who taught you differently?" 

Rebecca was silent for a long time and Giles began to think she wasn't going to answer. "My father," she finally said in an almost inaudible voice. "He's the boss of the house. Isn't that right? Pater familias and everything." 

Giles thought of his own childhood for a moment and found he wanted to find 'Mr Smith', whoever he might really be, and bang his head against a wall. "Not necessarily," he said as gently as he could around the sudden fury. "There's a lot to be said for mutual respect." 

She was looking like she wanted to believe him - like he'd introduced her to a whole view of the world and she liked what she was seeing. But he knew how hard it was to shake off a childhood's worth of unconscious indoctrination - and running away from home to raise demons, while it might work, wasn't the best way to go about doing it. 

"Promise me something," he said quietly. "Promise me that while you're here you'll say what _Rebecca_ thinks, not anyone else. That you'll look at things with your own eyes and make your own decisions." 

She smiled, the expression transforming her, reminding him of something he couldn't place. "I promise," she agreed breathlessly. "I promise." 

"Good." Giles leaned back in his seat and took a mouthful of rapidly cooling tea. "So, since you seem to be caught up in the middle of it, how about I tell you about Slayers and vampires and all the other oddities that roam Sunnydale." 

He saw her mouth the word _vampires_ in silent surprise, but she just nodded and waited. 

It took them two pots of tea and the entire packet of biscuits to get through the telling, and Becca was looking both more dazed and less confused by the time he'd finished. 

"So Buffy slays vampires," she said slowly. "And that's like, her Calling." 

Giles nodded, hearing the way she had instantly capitalised the 'C' and wondering just what Rebecca Smith did and didn't know about fate and destiny. 

She started gnawing thoughtful on her thumbnail and Giles had to resist the urge to reach out and pull her hand from her mouth. He couldn't understand why he felt so paternal about this girl he'd only met yesterday. It was quite different from the way he felt about Buffy and the Scoobies, which was huge and complex and indescribable to anyone outside the group, but it was real and it left him feeling strangely off-balance. 

"And you're her Watcher," Becca continued in that same, thoughtfully considering voice. "Isn't that a kind of Calling too?" Giles felt a moment of delight as he realised she was doing exactly what he'd told her to do - thinking for herself and coming to her own conclusions. 

He just didn't expect her next comment. 

"So I wonder what happened to you." She frowned, switching a finger for the thumb and continuing to chew. "Maybe you died?" 

"I beg your pardon?" 

Becca blinked, as if she'd forgotten Giles was even in the room anymore. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said hastily. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just... Well, I don't get it." 

"Do you want me to explain something again," Giles offered, hoping a few more questions and answers might make things a little clearer for them both. 

But she shook her head. "No, the explaining was great." She looked up at him, letting her hand fall back into her lap. "I think I just need to think about it all some more." 

"It does take a little bit of getting used to," Giles agreed. "But hopefully it will all make sense before too long." 

Becca nodded this time. "I think so," she agreed. She hesitated, and he sensed she was about to say something important. "You know what," she said slowly. "I think I'm mostly mad." She pursed her lips thoughtfully and finally nodded. "Mmm, mostly I'm mad. Maybe even furious." 

Giles stared at her. "You're angry," he repeated slowly, seeing it in her eyes. "Why... Who... Why are - " 

There was a bang and a crash and his words were cut off by the door swinging open and Buffy striding into the apartment without knocking as usual. Riley followed a few steps behind her. 

She waltzed in as if she owned the place - a fact Giles sometimes thought might be true, although he was yet to check the ownership deed and find _Buffy Summers_ on it instead of _Rupert Giles_. The truly sad thing was that he had ever checked in the first place. 

"Hey, Watcher mine." She dropped into the seat across from Rebecca and grinned. "Hiya, Becca. Giles doing the explainy thing, huh?" 

"Humph," Giles muttered, but Becca grinned back at Buffy, feeling a sudden kinship with the older girl. 

"He's pretty good at it, isn't he? Except when he goes all dry and text-booky on you." 

"It was good," Becca said quietly and Buffy smiled. 

"Cool. So, Giles, what can you tell me and my man here about the Alka- Setlzer demon I chased off the other night." 

"Alskitzer demon," Giles corrected automatically. He glanced up at Riley. "Welcome back. How was Washington?" 

"Ah, fine." The younger man sounded careful and cautious, giving Becca a searching glance. 

Buffy saw it and grinned. "Bec, this is my boyfriend, Riley. Honey, this is Becca. She's staying with Mom and me for a bit." She tuned on the sofa, so that she was kneeling on the cushion, and pulled Riley down for a kiss. He obliged automatically, his hands sliding through her hair, while both Giles and Becca pointedly pretended not to notice. 

It was Riley who pulled away for air first, and had the grace to look a little embarrassed. He disentangled himself from Buffy and leaned across the sofa to offer a hand to Becca. "Hi, I'm Riley Finn." 

She stared at him for a long time, and only finally took the outstretched hand when he was about to withdraw it again in confusion. "I'm Rebecca." 

"Nice to meet you, Rebecca." He smiled, and it was a warm, open smile that left her staring at him again. "How do you know Buffy?" 

"She crash-landed in Giles' bathroom, so she's staying with us," Buffy said cheerfully. "Giles, the Whatzit demon?" 

"Ah, yes, of course." Giles stood and went to retrieve his book from the desk. He opened the volume, absent-mindedly stuffing the envelope into his pocket, and ran a finger across the text. "It can take human form during the day, but has to recuperate at night, so your best bet at finding it is tonight. It's been quiet for the last few days, so tonight should be soon enough." 

Buffy shook her head. "More people might die before then," she pointed out sharply. "I need more Giles. Tell me how to find it today." 

Giles shrugged, flicking though the pages again. "During the day it looks completely human and gives off a human signature. It'll be hard to recognise." He trailed into silence as he read. "According to this it likes salt water. You could try the beach, I guess." 

Buffy jumped up, all action now she'd been given a plan. "The beach, huh? Okay, we're out of here." 

She had collected Riley and was halfway to the door before Giles could even close the book. "Buffy!" he called after her. "Be careful. Don't get hurt and don't kill the wrong person." 

She stopped at the door and turned back, suddenly extremely serious. "Did that once, Giles, remember? Never, ever, ever going to do it again." 

"You what?" Riley gasped in consternation and Buffy sighed. 

"Me and my big mouth," she muttered, dragging him out the door. "Come on, I'll explain on the way." 

Giles shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, momentarily looking several years older. 

"They seem like they make a nice couple," Becca commented neutrally as the door banged shut behind the pair. 

Caught by something he refused ever to name, Giles managed to nod, even speak around that lump that appeared unexpectedly in his throat at moments such as this. 

"They make a handsome couple," he answered carefully. 

Rebecca gave him a steady, almost derisive look. "It's the handsome and perfect looking ones who are always all fucked up inside", she said bluntly. "Didn't you know that?" 

Giles blinked at her, as surprised by the truth of her statement as by the unexpected obscenity. But her gaze had returned to the door, that was closed again now his momentary guests had departed. 

"Do you think they're fucked up?" she asked thoughtfully. 

"I think they're mostly fucking," Giles replied without pausing to think, wishing he could call the words back the instant they left his mouth. 

But Becca was watching him again, now with a strange, almost fey look on her face. "I knew it ended up that way," she said softly, her statement making no sense at all. "But I didn't know it began that way too." 

"Rebecca, what's going on?" Giles asked carefully. "You know more than you're telling me - for one thing I _know_ your last name isn't 'Smith' - and I can't help you get home if you don't tell me everything." 

"I'm not supposed to," Becca whispered. "_You're_ not supposed to. There's something I have to do and then I can go home. That's what he told me. There's something I have to fix and then I can go home." 

"Who told you?" 

Becca shook her head. "I don't know. He was a little man with horrible clothes and a funny accent. He said there was something I had to do." 

"What?" 

"Make someone happy," Becca whispered in a small voice. She looked up at Giles, her expression pleading. "I can't tell you any more. Really and truly, I can't. I'll get in trouble." 

Giles sat down again, watching her thoughtfully. "You're not from another dimension at all, are you?" He paused, as if despite everything he lived with on a daily basis he still couldn't quite believe what he was going to say. "You're from the future." 

Becca shook her head desperately. "I can't say. I... I think I'd better go now." 

She got up from her seat and headed for the door. Giles was tempted to go after her, stop her and demand more answers, but something kept him where he was. Becca wasn't going to tell him anything more right now and pushing her would probably be the worst mistake he could make. He'd learned from Buffy that pushing a teenage girl when she wasn't ready tended to be a very bad idea. And something made him sure Becca would be back. 

Rebecca opened the door and almost found herself being knocked on the forehead. Literally. There was a tall, thin man standing on the doorstep, one hand raised to knock on the wood. Which had now been replaced by her face. 

He stepped back in surprise. 

"Ah, excuse me." 

Like Giles, he had an English accent, but there was something just a little bit different about it. Of course, not all Americans had the same accent, so why should she assume every Englishman did. 

"Ah..." Becca repeated, at a loss for any other response. 

She felt rather than heard Giles come up behind her and his voice, when he spoke, was possibly even more startled that it had been when he'd worked out where - or rather when - the portal had dropped her off from. 

"Wesley? What are you doing here?" 

The other man ducked his head in a kind of nervous embarrassment. "Can I come in?" 

Giles gently pulled Becca aside, but he didn't invite the other man in, just left the doorway open for him. 

"Ah, yes, very wise. One can't be too careful, can one?" 

He hefted an armful of books Becca hadn't seen before into a more comfortable position and walked into Giles' apartment. The whole ritual - and ritual it surely had been - had left Becca totally confused until she finally remembered something Giles had said about vampires. They couldn't come in unless they were invited. Was that how these people lived, exercising such caution even with their friends and when it was daylight outside? 

The whole concept gave her the creeps. 

"What are you doing here, Wesley?" Giles asked, automatically helping the younger man unload his burden onto the nearest available surface. 

"We found a prophecy," Wesley explained, not seeing the grimace that crossed Giles' face. "About Buffy." 

If anything, the grimace grew even more pained. "About Buffy?" Giles repeated, and the concern in his voice was unmistakable. "What is it this time?" 

Becca changed her mind about leaving and closed the door, leaning back against the wall and waiting to see what this Wesley person had to say. It was about Buffy. She already liked Buffy - rather like the big sister she had never had - and Giles hadn't looked particularly happy. Obviously Buffy and prophecies didn't mix very well. 

Wesley dropped into a seat with a sigh. "I drove straight from LA. And in that monstrous car of Angel's too. I would have preferred to bring the bike, but then I couldn't have brought all the books." 

"The prophecy," Giles prompted in a dangerous voice. 

"Oh, the prophecy," Wesley agreed hurriedly. "Technically, it may not be about Buffy at all. But we found it in a scroll that has a very significant passage about Angel and all my instincts tell me they're related. That means it must be about Buffy." 

The expression of Giles' face showed exactly what he thought of Wesley's instincts. 

"Or more specifically," Wesley continued. "About Buffy's daughter." 

Giles looked flabbergasted. 

And Becca found her knees getting wobbly, until she slid bonelessly down the wall and finished up in a puddle of limbs on the tile floor. 


	5. Four

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Four * * * * *

"I don't have a daughter!" Buffy said flatly. "Not planning on having one any time soon." There was a moment's pause. "Or a son either," she clarified with a threatening look at Xander. 

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, did I say anything?" 

"You were going to." 

"Well, yes," Xander admitted. "But I won't now, I promise." 

"Good." Buffy's tone was still dire. 

"Perhaps we need to clarify what we know before jumping to conclusions." Giles' voice was the calm tone of reason in the storm. 

"Um, Buffy?" Willow sounded a little nervous, but determined to say her piece. "Do you think there's any way you could be, um... Well... You know..." 

"I know what?" Buffy gave her friend a puzzled look. 

"You know..." Willow repeated, her face turning a shade of red to match her hair. 

"Pregnant," Wesley offered helpfully into the silence that followed. 

A silence that lasted only as long as it took for Buffy to catch her breath before exploding. "I so am _not_ pregnant. Why the hell would I want to be pregnant?" 

It was Becca, sucking in an instinctive breath at the outburst, who saw the look that crossed Riley's face at Buffy's abrupt denial. He looked hurt, like his girlfriend had crossed the room and slapped him in the face with all her Slayer's strength. 

"Buffy, are you sure?" Giles asked gently. As Buffy opened her mouth to respond, he added quietly, "We need to check every possibility." 

Buffy swallowed visibly, but managed to answer calmly. "I'm not pregnant." For a tiny instant, a wistful look crossed her face. "Can Slayers even have children?" 

"I don't know," Giles answered honestly. "I've never seen a record of it happening." 

"Most Slayers don't survive long enough for the question of reproduction to become an issue," Wesley added, giving Giles an almost apologetic look for mentioning the one thing a Watcher never wanted to discuss. The death of his or her Slayer. He was surprised and gratified by the older man's nod of appreciation. "Mr Giles and I could look into it for you if you wish, Buffy." 

Giles nodded again, the gesture for Buffy this time, but he was watching Buffy's other ex-Watcher, reluctantly impressed by this new Wesley. Perhaps getting fired was a required step in turning a Watcher into a decent human being. If he was going to be honest it had probably been good for him, despite feeling desperately anchorless for much of this last year, and it looked like it had been good for Wesley as well. They could start a club for Buffy Summers' ex-Watchers who turned out not to be quite so stuffy after all. 

He caught Buffy staring at him with a puzzled expression on his face and realised he'd been wool-gathering. "If you'd like us too, Buffy, then we will. You've broken so many rules already that I'd sure you can manage one more." 

As he intended, she smiled and if the expression was a little tight about the edges he pretended not to notice. 

"I'm not saying I want to rush out and be an unwed mother or anything, but it would be kind of nice to know I had the choice." 

"Buffy, you'll never be an unwed mother." 

Buffy blinked, looking up at Riley as if she had completely forgotten he was even in the room. He looked hurt, as if she'd just turned into some alien creature he didn't know. 

"How can you think I wouldn't marry you?" 

"I..." Buffy floundered, not having an answer, wondering when the conversation had moved from the hypothetical into the realm of reality. 

"How can you think that?" Riley repeated. "Buffy, will - " 

"What does the prophecy say?" 

Completely out of habit, Becca interrupted before he could finish. Somehow she knew instinctively what he had been going to say and she cut off the question before it could be asked. Not daring to look at Riley, she focused on Wesley instead, remembering the way he had rushed to help her when she fell earlier and how, once she was safely settled on the couch, had refused to say anything further about his reason for coming to Sunnydale until Buffy was there to hear it too. 

"The prophecy, yes." Wesley looked a little uncomfortable with all the attention back on him but he didn't falter under the collection of gazes, just took a breath to collect his thoughts and started telling them what he'd travelled a hundred miles to say. 

"About a month ago Angel, ah, acquired a scroll of prophecy." Wesley glanced up at Giles, unable to hide completely the satisfaction in his tone. "The prophecies of Aberjian." 

"You found the prophecies of Aberjian?!" Giles looked at the younger man with a new respect. "They were supposed to have been destroyed in the fire at the Basilica of Dianys in 1013." 

Wesley thought of all that had gone into that discovery, feeling the ache of sore places still not healed, remembering the look of remembered pain that still sometimes crossed Cordelia's face, the continuing unsolved mystery of what evil Wolfram and Hart had raised to turn against the world. 

"It's a long story," he said quietly. He thought of the promise the prophecies had made to Angel - the one he had been firmly forbidden to mention to the group of people gathered around him - and smiled just slightly. "Possibly a very long story." 

"What did it say?" Xander demanded impatiently. "Apart from the bit about Buffy being a mom. Or maybe especially the bit about Buffy being a mom. Come on, stuffy British guy." 

Wesley was surprised to find himself smiling slightly. Once, he would have been cut, flustered and embarrassed by Xander's words. Now, he simply recognised it as part of what made the young man himself. But he did understand better why Mr Giles had a patented glare with Xander's name on it. 

"The scroll contains a number of prophecies. I've only started translating it as it is in some very obscure dialects. So far we've found a major one about Angel and the one about Buffy's daughter..." 

"Angel's a vampire," Riley cut in harshly. "It's not like he and Buffy could..." 

"Riley!" Buffy snapped before he could finish, shooting him a glare of if- looks-could-kill intensity. 

He had the grace to look away, but he still repeated sullenly, "Angel's a vampire." 

"Are you saying Buffy and Deadboy...?" Xander sounded like he was catching up on the conversation and couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

Willow leaned over so she could put a hand over his mouth. "Just shut up, Xander," she hissed. "You're making it worse." 

"But Angel..." he mumbled in self-defence. 

"Would _everybody_ just _SHUT UP!_" Buffy's shout cut across the room, reducing it to silence. "While I'm delighted everyone's so fascinated by the identity of the father of a daughter I'm not actually planning to have, it's _none of your business_." 

"But Buffy..." Riley tried and she shot him a killing glare. 

"Buffy's right," Giles said quietly. "I think we're all being a little premature here." He winced at his inadvertent choice of words but kept steadfastly on. "First we should let Wesley finish telling us what he found in the Aberjian prophecy." 

"Yes, the Scroll." Wesley looked like he wished he had the Scroll in question in his hand so he could hide behind it. "The prophecy, ah, more like two separate but related prophecies, talk about the End of Days and the warriors that will come together to fight the rising Evil. One of these is described as the vampire with a soul..." 

"Angel," Buffy whispered softly. 

Wesley nodded. "And the other is called the Slayer's daughter." He looked up at Buffy, holding her gaze. "Since you are not a Slayer's daughter and your fate and Angel's seem to remain connected in some way, my best analysis is that the warrior being spoken of is your daughter." 

"So some mouldy old scroll says I'm going to have a kid and she's going to what? Die trying to save the world from some big baddy?" 

"No - " Wesley began, but Riley cut him off even as Buffy was opening her mouth to continue. 

"Buffy's and my daughter isn't going to be risking her life. I'll make sure that never happens." He looked over at his girlfriend. "Buffy I promise, I'll make sure it never happens." 

"How?" a new voice asked and he looked over to see Becca watching him with an uncannily perceptive gaze. "By pretending none of this stuff exists, even though you know it does." 

"Nothing's going to happen to my daughter," he repeated stubbornly. 

Buffy was starting to look trapped. "Giles?" she asked plaintively, and there were a hundred different questions in that single name. 

Giles shook his head. "I don't know, Buffy. The Aberjian Prophecies are supposed to be pretty infallible, but you've beaten prophecy before." He slipped his glasses off and began automatically polishing the lenses with the bottom of his sweater. "If you _are_ to have a daughter and if she _is_ called to be a warrior for the Light, you know as well as I do how hard it is to turn away from such a Calling. The best I can offer is to promise she'll be prepared." 

"My child is _not_ going to be some kind of fated warrior," Riley repeated stubbornly. "Buffy..." 

Buffy looked from him to Giles and back again. Finally, she slowly shook her head. "I don't want my daughter to have the kind of childhood I did. Or rather, that I missed out on. I can't let that happen. Not even if she's supposed to save the world." 

She got to her feet and walked across to the door. Once she had it open, she turned back for a moment. "I'm sorry, Giles," she said quietly. And she walked out. 

Riley followed her. 

"That went well," Xander commented ironically into the silence that followed their departure. 

"Mmm," Giles agreed, but his eyes were on Rebecca, who was staring at the door with a forlorn, almost tearful expression on her face. 

* * * * * Aside II * * * * * 

Mama, is that what you did? 

You sacrificed everything you are, just for me to have a normal childhood? 

Well, guess what? You screwed up. Cause I didn't. 

And you paid way, way, way too high a price for it. 

This you I've just met, I've only known you for two days and already I love you. You're bright and alive and you kind of sparkle. Did you know the room seems to get a little bit lighter and warmer whenever you walk into it? And most of all, Mama you're happy. 

Even with all the _stuff_ you face, there's a core of strength and brightness in you that the mother I grew up with was lacking. 

I don't want you to lose that. 

And Mama, I think Daddy just talked you into making the wrong decision. I think this is where it all went wrong. 

Because I don't know how to be a warrior. And if the world is depending on me then it's in a lot of trouble. 

Because I don't want Daddy becoming cold and rigid and dictatorial like I remember. 

And most of all, because I don't want you to stop laughing like you were last night. It was wonderful. 

But I don't know how to fix it. 

I don't know what to do. 

* * * * * Four (again) * * * * * 

The answer was in his grasp, just beyond the reach of his fingertips, but getting closer with each passing moment. 

"Willow? Xander?" Giles' voice was quiet, not wanting to shake Becca out of her thoughts. "Would you mind going home now? I need to talk to Rebecca." 

He got puzzled looks from both of them, but they exchanged a glance between themselves in silent communication and nodded. 

"Okay, Giles," Willow agreed. 

"Later, G-man," Xander added. 

"I'll, ah, talk a walk," Wesley offered helpfully and Giles gave him a grateful nod. 

And they let themselves out, leaving him alone with Becca not-Smith. 

Giles touched her gently on the shoulder. "Becca?" 

She looked up at him, blinking as if she'd just surfaced from a long time underwater. 

He made sure his voice as gentle as his touch. 

"I know who you are now. Rebecca Finn. Whatever went wrong, we'll fix it. We'll make sure your mother is happy. That's all I've ever wanted for her, even if it seems to be something she's fated to be denied." 

Whatever response he's been expecting, it wasn't the one he got. She hurled herself across the space between them, throwing herself into his arms with her head pressed against his chest and sobbing uncontrollably. 

Startled, Giles was still for a moment, then began gently stroking her hair. At first, the tender gesture just made her cry all the harder, but Giles only pulled her closer, murmuring meaningless assurances. Slowly the sobs stilled, until only the occasional hiccup was left and Becca raised a tear- stained, highly embarrassed face to his. 

Quite instinctively, Giles brushed at the tears with his thumb and shook his head. "It's okay." 

She sniffed and managed a small, watery smile. "I feel totally stupid now." 

He'd managed, with a little difficulty, to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket and he handed it to her. "We all feel stupid sometimes. Sometimes it means we are, sometimes we aren't. Right now, you aren't. Rather overwhelmed I think, but not stupid." 

She wiped at her eyes and tried smiling again. It worked a little more successfully than her last attempt. "Sorry." 

Giles shook his head. "Don't apologise. You have a lot to deal with right now." 

Becca nodded. "But I'm so confused," she admitted in a slightly wobbly voice. "It's all so complicated and I don't know what to do." 

"Then we'll work it out together," Giles assured her firmly. "You dry those eyes and we'll sit here and work it through until we have a plan." He gave her an ironic smile. "And I'm going to go and make us some tea while you take some deep breaths and make yourself feel more presentable. You know where the bathroom is if you want to use that." 

Becca managed to laugh at that. "I sure do." 

Giles had just set the tea things on the coffee table when Becca reappeared from the bathroom. She had washed most of the tear stains from her face and had brushed her hair back behind her ears. She was still pale and the lost look hadn't disappeared from her eyes, but she did look a little more ready to face the world. 

She sat down across from him, took her teacup and swallowed several careful sips of the hot liquid before looking up at him. He waited for her, only speaking when he was sure she was ready. 

"Perhaps we should reintroduce ourselves," he suggested. "I'm Rupert Giles, but you can call me Giles." 

She smiled, just a slight twitch of her lips. "I'm Rebecca Finn," she offered with a slightly embarrassed nod of her head. "Like you guessed. But you can call me Becca." 

"What really happened, Becca?" 

She had the grace to blush. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. It might mess up the future." 

Giles refrained from pointing out that that appeared to be what she was there to do and simply repeated, "What really happened?" 

Becca looked up at him, half ready to talk, half still reluctant, and in that instant Giles wondered how he could ever have missed it earlier. This girl- woman was Buffy Summers' daughter, from her toes to the top of her head. There were traces of Riley too he had to admit; her colouring, her extra height and heavier build compared to Buffy, those technically came from her father. But looking at her as she prepared herself to talk, all Giles could see was Buffy. And he realised he was prepared to do as much "messing" with the future as was required to make sure he got to watch her grow up and to help Buffy and Riley prepare her for the fate Wesley had revealed. 

And he'd pay the price that taking such a course would require. No matter what. 

"The truth, huh?" Becca shrugged. "Okay, the truth." 

She put down her teacup and looked at him with an expression he remembered from the days of researching with Buffy in the now-destroyed library at SHS. 

"I was walking home from visiting Mrs Sutherland - she lives on the next farm with her son and his wife - and I stopped by the stream for a minute." 

"In Indiana?" Giles asked ironically. 

"Iowa," Becca admitted sheepishly. "But I thought I'd better not tell the truth and I'd already said the "I", so I just said the next "I" state I could think of." 

Of course Riley had taken his wife home. That was the kind of normal and expected thing he'd do. Giles supposed he could move to Iowa. Surely it couldn't be any worse than Sunnydale. 

"Anyway, I'd just sat down when this funny little man stepped out from behind one of the trees. I nearly had a heart attack." She smiled a little at the memory. "He said he came from the 'Powers' and he had a job for me. At first I thought he was crazy." She looked up at Giles. "You know?" 

"Mmm," he agreed without really saying anything. He realised with surprise that he'd lived his entire live with 'crazy' and he actually _didn't_ know what she meant. All he had had was different degrees of strange; he'd never had a wake-up call from total ignorance like first Buffy and clearly Rebecca had. He didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. 

"Anyway," Becca continued, "he said there was something I was needed to do. That he could send me back in time and all I had to do was make my mother happy." She carefully picked up her teacup again, but Giles had already caught the flash of tears in her eyes. "It was only when he said it that I realised I'd never, ever seen her really happy. It was like being given a miracle and I said yes." 

She looked up with a sudden grin. "That's how I _really_ ended up in your bathroom." 

"But now I'm here it's so complicated." Her voice faltered again. "I never knew about _any_ of this. About demons and magic and Slayers and stuff. Mama never said anything at all and Daddy..." Her hands twisted in her lap, something Giles saw even if she had no idea she was doing it. "A girl at school lent me a book once; it was just a silly romance thing, about vampires. Daddy went ballistic. He and Mama had a huge fight that night. It's the only time I remember her shouting back at him. I thought it was just because he didn't believe in that stuff. He always made that quite clear. No supernatural stuff in our house. That was the rule." 

She looked at Giles again, and now her expression was confused. "But he knows it's all real, so how could he pretend it isn't? And if Mama is Called to be the Slayer, how could he just make her stop?" 

She closed her eyes and swallowed, clearly trying not to cry. "And what about me? I don't know anything about saving the world. I can't. I don't know how. No-one ever taught me. Giles, I'm so scared." 

He couldn't help himself. He did the thing he had never dared to do with Buffy. He crossed over to her and folded her in his arms, offering all the comfort and caring he had to offer. 

"It'll be all right. We'll sort it out and we'll make it okay. I promise." 

At the first touch of his arms around her, Becca started to cry again. "I can't do it," she sobbed. "I don't know how to fight evil. I don't know to save the world. That's Mama's job and she gave it up and never told me about it. And I can't do it. I don't even know how to make her be happy." 

Giles just held her, keeping up his quiet litany of promises, letting her cry out her confusion and her fear. He felt like history was repeating itself and he was as powerless to stop it as he had been for another teenage girl who had carried the fate of the world on her shoulders. He would have given anything to save Buffy the pain and sorrow she had already lived through, but he had learned early that that was something he simply could not do, no matter how much he might wish things otherwise. All he had ever been able to do was his very best to make sure Buffy was ready to face whatever evil was thrown at her next. 

All he could do now was hold Buffy's daughter in his arms as she cried and do his best to make sure she, too, was as prepared as she could possibly be. 

Even if he had to change history to do it. 

As Becca's tears stilled, she tried to pull away, but Giles wouldn't let her. Instead, he caught her eyes and gave her a serious, steady look. "We're going to make sure your parents are happy and we're going to make sure you're ready." His voice was almost husky. "I promise you." 

Becca nodded, feeling a sense of relief settling around her. "Okay." 

She looked up again and caught something in Giles' face, in those startling green eyes and expressive features. It was like he had taken something infinitely precious and carefully locked it away so that it could never get free, never even be seen. 

And the relief went away, leaving her with this horrible, sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. 


	6. Five

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Five * * * * *

"I'll get it," Xander offered when someone knocked on the dorm room door. 

"So they just left?" Tara asked her girlfriend for the third time. 

Willow nodded, also for the third time. "And after that Giles asked Xander and me to leave." 

"That's rude," Anya said crossly, her eyes on Xander as he reached the door and totally unaware of the concept of the pot and the kettle. 

"And Mr Wyndham-Pryce?" 

"He offered to go for a walk," Willow answered. "I think Wesley might finally be getting a clue." 

"Well, look who's here. Our Miss Mystery." Xander's voice was sarcastic, with an edge it didn't often have. 

If anything, it made Rebecca turn a little paler, making the tear stains on cheeks even more obvious. Even so she didn't back down, just asked quietly, "Can I come in?" 

Xander looked at Willow - it was her room after all - and she nodded. "Whatever," Xander agreed ungraciously and stood aside to let Becca in. 

She stopped uncertainly once inside, seeking out Willow. Finding the redhead, she took a deep breath and said into the waiting silence, "I think I've done something terrible." 

If Willow had 'Spidey Senses' the way Buffy did, she would have said that this girl made them tingle. She was connected to Buffy somehow and Willow didn't want her best friend hurt. Of course, the fact that Becca had somehow realised what Riley was doing and prevented him from proposing earned her several million points in Willow's book. It had taken _her_ a good half an hour to realise that was what had just happened and in that instant Rebecca had been her number one new best friend. So the least Willow could do was listen while Becca said whatever it was she had to say. 

And the fact Becca was standing there, clear evidence on her face that she had been crying and looking like she wanted to be sick made Willow want to go over and hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right. It was just that she had to find out what had gone wrong first. 

"What happened?" she asked in a voice so gentle it made Xander stare at her in surprise. 

Becca looked around the other people crowded in the dorm room. Xander, his expression suspicious and protective; Anya looking faintly bored; Willow, patient and waiting and Tara, just watching her, silently supportive. 

She swallowed and asked the question that had only occurred to her as she saw Giles' sudden, carefully shuttered expression. 

"Is Mr Giles in love with Buffy?" 

There was a moment's silence; still and waiting, of the you-could-hear-a-pin- drop variety. 

Then... 

"What?!" Xander almost shrieked. 

"Yes," Willow said firmly. 

Yes," Tara added quietly. 

"Well, duh!" Anya concluded, giving her boyfriend a disgusted look. "Gee, Xander, how blind are you? He has been for ages." 

"Although I think he only worked it out after we did that joining spell to defeat Adam," Willow clarified. 

Xander sat down abruptly on the nearest surface - a chair covered in pillows and discarded women's clothing. "You have _got_ to be kidding me." 

Anya patted him on the shoulder. "Open your eyes, Xander," she suggested. 

"Watch the way he looks at her," Tara added, exchanging a covert glance with her girlfriend that made them both blush and smile. 

"He'd never scorn her," Anya finished in a voice that suggested that explained everything. 

It certainly seemed to end the argument as far as Xander was concerned. He nodded reluctantly. "Okay, Giles is in love with Buffy." He gave his friends a pleading look. "So why aren't I going _Eewwwww_?" 

"Because you're finally starting to grow up," Willow suggested, the smile on her face taking the edge out of her words. 

"Scary," Xander said reflectively. "Very, very scary." 

Well, Becca had the answer to her first question and it was exactly what she had expected. Now she had to ask the second, and it was the possible answer to that one which really frightened her. 

"What about Buffy?" 

"Is Buffy in love with Buffy?" Xander said facetiously. "Frightening concept, even on the Hellmouth." 

"No, Doofus." Willow threw a cushion at him. "She means - " 

"I know what she means," Xander interrupted. "She means is Buffy in love with Giles? I was just trying for a little tension reducing humour." 

"It didn't work," Anya informed him helpfully. 

Xander nodded. "I was getting that impression." 

"Is she?" Becca asked again. "What about Riley?" 

"Why do you want to know?" Willow asked her quietly. "I mean, you've only just got here, and suddenly you're all like, tell me everyone's darkest secrets." 

"Love isn't a dark secret, sweetie," Tara protested. 

"Well, no," Willow conceded. "But you know what I mean." She looked back at Becca. "Why do you want to know?" 

Becca had already worked out how she was going to answer that inevitable question on the way over. By telling the truth - mostly - and bending it a little as need required. "Giles was talking to me about the prophecy. He thinks that because I came from somewhere at the same time Mr Whatshisname came with the scroll, maybe I'm supposed to help. He was talking about moving to... Going wherever Buffy goes I mean, and I just thought I saw something in his face." 

She paused as she remembered the sudden, shuttered expression on Giles' face. "I know I'm only seventeen and I haven't really ever done the 'falling in love' thing - well, except for Bobby Squires in second grade, but we were only seven." Becca realised everyone was staring at her and tried to get back to her point. "Anyway, wouldn't it be really awful to be in love with someone and see them all the time with someone else and have to pretend you didn't care?" 

"Translation?" Xander begged. 

Willow was looking at Becca with a new respect. "She means Giles would go wherever Buffy needed him, even if she married Riley and he had to go live on some farm in Iowa or something." 

"And that he'd never stop loving her," Tara added softly. "He'd just hide it away and pretend he didn't feel anything at all." 

"I don't think we should let him," Becca said firmly. "He deserves better." 

"What?" Xander stared at her. "Are you saying we should tell Giles to abandon Buffy? First, he wouldn't listen to us and even if he did, second, he wouldn't do it. None of us would." 

Becca shook her head. "I'm not saying that." She took a very deep breath. "I'm saying maybe Buffy shouldn't be with Riley. Maybe she should be with Giles instead." She went back to one of her original questions, the one that still hadn't been answered. "What about Buffy? Does she really love Riley? What about Giles?" 

"Riley doesn't deserve her," Anya said flatly. 

"We know that," Xander agreed. He was looking at his girlfriend as if she'd just sprouted demon horns. "How do you know that?" 

Anya gave him another 'duh' look. "He loves her like a toy. A pretty thing that shows what a great man he is to have her on his arm. And he so does not get the Slayer thing. He thinks he likes it that she's stronger than him, but he'll get sick of it." For a moment, she looked about a thousand years old. "I've seen it happen before." 

"I think that's a bit harsh," Tara protested. "He does love her." 

"Ahn's right," Xander agreed slowly. He glanced at Tara. "You are too I think. He loves her, but on his terms." 

Willow laughed. "And Buffy's going to bow to someone else's terms? Never. Look at all the grief she gave Giles about being her Watcher." 

"I think she will," Becca said in a very small voice. "Because she wants everything to be normal. And she thinks he'll make it normal." 

Willow's smile froze. "She might..." she said slowly. "She's always said she just wanted to be normal. To have a normal life." She shook her head, more to convince herself than out of certainty. "But then she wouldn't be Buffy." 

"No," Becca agreed, and there was something in her voice that made the other four look at her afresh, as if somehow she _knew_ the answer while they were only guessing. 

"She'll try so hard to be normal; she'll do all the things a Mrs Finn should do. Live in the normal world; no Slayers, no Watchers, no vampires, no monsters, no destinies. But she isn't normal. She's special. She's Called, Chosen..." 

"And if she abandons that, she'll abandon every thing that she is," Xander finished. "Oh no, we _so_ have to stop this." 

"Sure, Buffy's going to let you tell her to break up with her boyfriend," Anya told him scornfully. 

"What about the baby?" Tara asked hesitantly. 

"Baby?" Willow repeated blankly. 

"The prophecy," Becca clarified, and there was an inexplicable wobble in her voice. "That the Slayer's daughter is going to save the world." 

Xander shuddered theatrically. "If the fate of the world is going to rest on Buffy and Riley's kid and it's Riley, being Mr Normal Guy, that brings her up..." He did the shudder thing again. "The world is doomed." 

It was a long silence that followed, the only sounds muffled voices in the corridor outside, a bang of a car backfiring out on the road. Until Rebecca spoke, her voice almost too low to hear. 

"I agree with you. Buffy and Riley's daughter can't save the world." 

"Maybe if Giles talked to them," Willow suggested. "Made sure the kid knew about Slayers and stuff, trained her like he trains Buffy?" 

"You'd make him do that?" Anya asked. "Hang around all the time and help the woman he loves and her husband to raise their child. Always loving her and always on the outside. And you say _I_ did horrible things to men." 

"He'd do it," Tara said. "He'd do it and it would kill him inside, a little bit every day." 

Willow was looking shaken. "Tara's right. Look at everything Giles has already faced and suffered for Buffy. He shouldn't have to do this too." 

"And I say again, how do we stop him?" Xander asked. "He'll never abandon Buffy." 

Willow sighed. "And then there's the prophecy. We've twisted them before, but we've never actually avoided one. Buffy and Riley are going to have a kid, and she'll need Giles' help to be ready." 

"But if Buffy wants her daughter to be normal, maybe she'll send Giles away," Tara suggested unhappily. "Buffy telling him to go is the only thing that would make Giles leave." 

"And since that means the kid won't be ready..." Xander leaned back in the chair, his expression unusually grave. "I repeat, the world is doomed." 

The four friends exchanged gloomy glances, while Becca, still standing by the door, tried to get up enough courage to say what needed to be said. Finally, she took a deep breath and stepped into the middle of the room, the movement making everyone turn to look at her. 

"The prophecy doesn't say Buffy and Riley will have a baby," she said in a strained voice. "It just talks about the Slayer's daughter. Buffy's daughter. No mention of who the father is." Expressions of equal surprise and hope settled on the other faces in the room. "Is Buffy in love with Giles?" she asked again. 

The silence was even longer this time. 

"I don't know," Willow said finally. "I'm sure she loves him, but I don't think she's _in love_ with him." 

"She's afraid," Tara said quietly. 

Willow spun around to stare at her girlfriend. "What?" 

"She's terrified of loving anyone," Tara explained. "Can't you see it? Everyone's right, she doesn't really love Riley, she just needs to feel like she does. What happened to her to make her so scared?" 

Xander pulled a face. "Deadboy happened, that's what." 

"Who?" Anya, Becca and Tara exchanged confused glances. 

"Angel," Willow clarified. "Xand's right. Angel happened and yeah, maybe she is afraid of falling in love again. After all, that ended _real_ badly." 

"Who's Angel?" Anya demanded. 

"Buffy's old boyfriend," Xander answered shortly, an edge to his words. "Vampire, tried to kill us, moved to LA. Bad stuff." 

"Buffy went out with a vampire?" Tara asked in a startled voice. 

"No." Willow shook her head. "Buffy _loved_ Angel. Xander has Angel issues." 

"And you don't?" Xander asked her sharply. "Remember the whole 'I'm going to kill you and suck the world into hell thing'? And what he did to Giles?" 

"That was Angelus, not Angel," Willow insisted, but she didn't sound completely sure. 

"Huh?" It was only one word, and supposed to be a rather vague and confused one at that, but coming from Anya is was a demand for more information, issued in no uncertain terms. 

"It's a long story," Willow said with a sigh. "Short version. Buffy fell in love with Angel. Angel turned out to be a vampire. But he had a soul which made him a _good_ vampire. Then he..." She hesitated, exchanging a glance with Xander. "...he lost his soul again and turned all evil and tried to kill everyone. He did kill one of the teachers from school, who Giles was kind of sweet on. I did a spell to restore his soul, but Buffy had to kill him to save the world from being sucked into Hell. Then he came back and... Well, it was pretty bad. He left town at the end of High School. He broke Buffy's heart, even though she knew it was better that he left." 

"That's the short version?" Tara asked. 

Xander snorted. "The _very_ short version." 

"I think Buffy's only loved two people in her life," Willow said softly. "Angel and now Giles. I don't know if she's _in love_ with Giles, but she does love him." 

"Which," Xander said with sudden insight, "is probably why she spent most of this last year ignoring him." 

"Because she's afraid," Willow agreed with a nod. 

"Buffy and Angel would be bad," Xander insisted. 

"But Giles..." Willow looked up at Xander, the other original Scooby in the room. "And Buffy and Giles' kid - the world would have a much better chance." 

"Only if she loves him," Tara insisted, sounding much more forceful than usual. "You can't force someone to love someone else." 

Willow smiled, the expression unexpectedly wicked. "But you can give them a little push and see what happens. I'll talk to Buffy." Her 'resolve face' slid across her features as she picked up a jacket. "I'll do it now." At the door she stopped and turned back to her friends. "Before I chicken out and change my mind." 

And she was gone, leaving the other four to look at each other and wonder if such full-scale interference was warranted or not. 

* * * * * Aside III * * * * * 

I just _so_ cannot believe I just did that. 

I just talked my mother's friends into getting her to break up with my father before I'm ever conceived. 

What's going to happen to me now? 

But what else could I do? 

They were right - Daddy doesn't love her. Not like someone like Mama deserves to be loved. He just wants this picture perfect wife and daughter. And we're not. We're real, passionate people who have been banged and moulded into something we're not. 

I didn't realise it had happened to me until I talked to Giles. And because I never knew any different I didn't know it had happened to Mama. But now I've seen her - Buffy, who laughs and cries and does everything with passion - I couldn't bear for her to turn into the quiet woman I remember, with all the fire taken away. 

Giles would never let that happen to her. He would support her and protect her and love her, but - and this is what Daddy could never, ever understand - he'd also let her go out and face the darkness like she is Called to do. 

Daddy tried to protect her - and me - but wrapping us up in cotton wool and making us weak. 

Giles would protect her by loving her and guiding her and training her and making her strong. 

And he would do the same for their daughter. 

Who won't be me. 

I know I'm doing the right thing, but I'm so very, very scared. What's going to happen to me now? 

* * * * * Five (again) * * * * * 

"What's up, Wills?" 

Buffy dropped into the seat opposite Willow at the Espresso Pump and reached gratefully for the moccachino Willow had waiting for her.. She looked tired. She had circles around her eyes and she had a washed out look that wasn't usual for her. It was almost enough to make Willow change her mind and make a run for it, but she took another calming breath and refused to let herself scare herself off. 

But she still needed a little reassurance. "We're best friends, aren't we Buffy? I mean, I know last year got pretty bad, but we're past that, right? We're best friends and we can tell each other anything?" 

Buffy looked at her with a puzzled look on her face. "I already know you're gay, Will. No big. I think it's cute. You and Tara, I mean." 

Willow blushed, warmed by her friend's near lack of interest in the topic. It had been an issue a few months back and to know that now it wasn't made her feel so good inside. She didn't want to lose Buffy's friendship for anything. And she was about to say and do something that could kill it forever. The warm feeling went away, replaced by a colder, more scary one. 

She shook her head. "This is about something else. We really _can_ talk about anything, can't we?" 

Buffy was starting to look a little worried. "Sure," she agreed slowly. "What do you want to talk about?" 

Willow swallowed and told herself firmly not to babble. "It's about the prophecy Wesley found," she started carefully. 

Buffy's face went shuttered. "What about it?" she asked tightly. 

"Well..." Willow shrugged mentally and decided just to jump in at the deep end and hope she didn't drown - or that Buffy didn't do the job for her. "Even if it's going to happen, about you having a daughter and stuff I mean..." She trailed off at the look on Buffy's face - hurt, confused, closed. "It only talks about you, not the father," she blurted out. "What if it's not Riley?" 

"Riley's my _boyfriend_," Buffy snapped back. "Are you suggesting I'm cheating on him?" 

"Of course not," Willow said hurriedly. "It's just that, well, it doesn't have to be him. It doesn't have to happen soon either. What if it's some guy you haven't met yet?" The conversation in the dorm room ringing in her head, she added, "What if it's someone you just haven't noticed yet?" 

"So you're saying I should just dump my boyfriend and wait for a hypothetical Mr Destiny to turn up?" Buffy's voice was a cross between angry and lost. "I've done the destiny thing. It sucks." 

Buffy looked at her friend and sighed, momentarily looking about three times her age. "I just want to be normal, Willow? Is that so wrong? If I'm supposed to have a daughter, I don't want her to have the kind of screwed up childhood I did. I don't want her to know the monsters under the bed are real. I just want her to be safe and happy." 

"But Buffy..." Willow was starting both to feel and to sound distressed. "If she's meant to save the world, she has to know about that kind of stuff. Or how will she be ready?" 

"No." The word was flat, emotionless and allowed for no compromise. Buffy glared across the table, her coffee ignored and forgotten. "Have you been talking to Giles? That's the kind of thing _he'd_ say. You have to be ready, Buffy. It's time to save the world again, Buffy. He's not saying that to my daughter." All the anger went out of her and she seemed to deflate. "Riley says he'll look after us. He'll make sure we're happy and the bad things don't come after us. That's what I want, Willow." 

But looking at her, Willow didn't think she looked convinced. It was more like she was trying to convince herself. 

She got up without another word and walked out of the coffee shop, leaving Willow to watch her retreating back. 

"You're right," Willow whispered softly into the silence, thinking of Tara. "She's beyond afraid. She's absolutely terrified. And she's going to the wrong person for help." 

She sighed and pushed her own coffee mug away from her. "And I mucked it up completely." 


	7. Six

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Six * * * * *

Becca was halfway down the stairs - on a mission to find herself a glass of water - when she heard the front door open. Buffy walked in, dropped a set of keys on the table beside the door and then turned back to shut out the night and set the locks and chain. That done, she turned again, paused for a second and then changed her mind, ignoring the stairs and walking into the lounge instead. 

Becca was torn. Part of her wanted to turn and scurry back upstairs, but another part of her wanted to go and put her arms around her mother and make everything right. Because Buffy surely looked as if right now everything was wrong. 

She looked... overwhelmed. Lost. Buried under a weight of cares. And as irrational as it might be, Becca felt like it was her fault. She just didn't know if she could help. Or if she was likely to make things worse. 

In the end, she chose to go down the stairs rather than up. She paused in the open entrance to the lounge, leaning against the frame and looking at Buffy. She was slouched on the sofa, her gaze directed at the ceiling, her thoughts clearly troubled and possibly light years away. 

Becca was about ready to chicken out and flee back upstairs to the safety of the spare bedroom when Buffy looked up and saw her standing there. 

"Hi," Becca said lamely, automatically offering the other girl a little wave and then feeling incredibly stupid. 

Unbelievably, Buffy smiled. "Hi," she agreed. "Couldn't sleep, huh?" 

Becca held up her empty glass. "Raging attack of the thirsties. I didn't want to wake your mom, so I came down to the kitchen." 

Buffy's eyes grew speculative. "How about OJ and ice-cream? We've got both in the fridge and I'm feeling in need of a vitamin and calcium fix." 

Becca laughed. "I remember doing that when I was little. Until Daddy caught us and said it was unhealthy." 

"Healthy, schmalthy," Buffy stated firmly. "If I ever meet your father, remind me to tell him to chill out." Already on her way to the kitchen, she didn't see the startled, almost hurting look that appeared in Becca's eyes - or the resolve that settled there a moment later. 

Becca found her bent nearly double, searching the freezer for chocolate fudge ice-cream. Two bowls were already waiting on the centre counter, a pair of tall glasses and a bottle of orange juice waiting beside them. Becca took it upon herself to pour the drinks and received a grateful smile from Buffy as she closed the freezer door with one foot and came to join the younger girl. 

"Grab a seat," Buffy offered as she pulled a spoon from a drawer and started piling ice-cream into the bowls. 

Becca sat and pushed one glass of juice over to Buffy. She slid across a bowl of ice-cream in reply, followed a second later by a spoon. 

Buffy held up her own spoon and saluted Becca with it. "Here's to chocolate ice-cream and a world without men." 

"Right," Becca agreed uncertainly and Buffy laughed shortly. 

"It's okay, I just had a fight with Riley. Not a fun thing at the best of times and a whole lot worse when you're trying to fight off a horde of vampires at the same time." She frowned thoughtfully. "Although the whole staking thing goes well with the blinding fury." 

Becca wasn't sure if the sudden knot in her stomach was hope or fear. Either way, she tried to ignore it, concentrating instead on the woman across from her who was attacking her ice-cream with a single-mindedness that would have scared any dairy treat of lesser breeding than double chocolate fudge sundae. 

"Want to talk about it?" she asked in what she hoped was a casual tone. 

For a long moment Buffy didn't answer, her attention still on the ice-cream. Finally she looked up and sighed. 

"I so don't need this crap, you know?" 

It was clearly a rhetorical question, so Becca just ate some more of her own ice-cream and waited. 

"I mean, fifteen years old and this guy turns up and tells me I'm the Slayer. How does that end up? I lose all my friends and end up getting expelled for burning down the school gym. It was full of vampires, but can I tell anyone that? No, of course not, not even my own mother." 

She refilled her bowl with a second helping of ice-cream. "So Mom and I move to Sunnydale. New start, no vampires. Except that on my first day at school I find that I have a new Watcher and I'm now living on an active Hellmouth." 

Buffy finally looked up at Becca, slight surprise in her eyes as if she had forgotten the other girl was even there. After a second she took a swallow of orange juice and kept talking. 

"When I was sixteen Giles found a prophecy that said I was going to die. And it was right. I did." 

Startled, Becca dropped her soon, the metal clinking against the side of the china bowl and Buffy looked up at her with a slight smile. "Only for a moment," she said a little defensively. "I drowned and Xander revived me." 

She set down her own spoon and sighed. "I really hate prophecies, you know that? I've dealt with enough of them now to know that even if they have loopholes, they usually come true in some way. And this one..." She shut her eyes, looking for an instant like she was trying not to cry. "I just wanted to be normal. If I'm going to have a daughter, I don't want her to have to deal with all the same kind of crap I did." 

"But you could be there to help her. To explain and everything," Becca suggested quietly. 

Buffy laughed, the sound hard and harsh. "That's what I said to Riley tonight. And all he did was give me an ultimatum. That we don't tell her, bring her up like a normal kid." 

"Can you hide from destiny like that?" Becca asked. 

"I don't know." Buffy laughed again. "It never worked when I tried it. Running away just made everything worse." She looked at Becca, her heart in her eyes, everything about her suddenly vulnerable. 

"It's like she's real already. And I just want her to have a normal life. Giles..." She stopped and shook her head. "It doesn't matter." 

"Giles said what you didn't want to hear and you don't want to admit he's right," Becca suggested gently. 

This time, Buffy's chuckle was more genuine. "I thought Giles was the only person that knew me that well. And Mom, some of the time. Do I have to add you to the list too?" 

"Shouldn't she be ready?" Becca asked, avoiding the question altogether. 

For an instant, Buffy's eyes flashed. Then she sighed and seemed to collapse in on herself again. "I guess," she said tiredly. "But I so want her to have a normal life." 

"Do you want to know about her normal life?" Becca asked suddenly. She took another swallow of orange juice. "I can tell you." 

Buffy carefully poured herself a second glass of juice before answering. "How?" she asked finally. 

That was a question Becca wasn't prepared to answer, so she just plunged into the telling without giving Buffy a chance to interrupt. 

"You tried so hard to be normal, you lost sight of how to be yourself. You tried so hard to be the perfect wife, you became a shadow, a silent, pale woman who stood behind her husband and didn't speak. You tried so hard to please everyone that they stole your soul in little pieces. You tried so hard to be the way he wanted you to be that you became cowed and quiet and afraid. You're strong and you became weak. 

"And your daughter... She grew up unaware the monsters were real, taught by her father that anyone who believed in them was a fool and an idiot, and that the world was simple, constructed in black and white without any colour. She too was cowed and quiet and didn't know that it was all right to have an opinion of her own. Didn't know that it was all right to disagree with her elders or tell someone what _she_ thought, rather than what she were told to think. 

"If she's supposed to save the world, she's going to fail. Because no-one taught her how to do it. She didn't have a Giles, watching over her and teaching her and protecting her like her mother did. She had only her father's denial and her mother's silence. She barely knows how to look after herself; she can't be humanity's saviour." 

Buffy was listening, her face still and silent and stunned. Her expression made Becca want to cry, but she knew she had to keep talking. 

_Make your mother happy._

"Buffy, you're strong. You're brave and bright and beautiful. You have friends who love and care about you. You have Giles, who would die for you. Who loves you so much it hurts him. Don't turn them out of your life. Because the only way they will leave you is if you make them go. If you let Riley talk you into telling them to go. Because he doesn't want them there, always a reminder of what you used to be, not what he wants you to be. 

"Let your daughter grow up knowing who and what you are. All of it, because it's every little thing together that makes you so special. Teach her as she grows, not as if Fate is chasing her, but so she that when the day comes, she is ready and strong and her mother's daughter, not a shadow moulded by her father. 

"Choose your daughter's father well. Make sure he is someone who loves you. Someone you love in return. Someone who will protect and teach you both without trying to shape you into his image of what you should be. 

"There's someone like that waiting for you. You just have to find him. Open you eyes and see him. Don't look for normality, look for the man who talks to your soul. Who knows you inside out and loves you, not despite of it but because of it. And whom you love in return. 

"Did you _ever_ tell D... Riley, I mean. Did you ever tell Riley you love him? Cause I can't remember it, not even once. Not ever." 

Becca swallowed, and said the most important, most life-altering, soul- shattering thing she would ever say to her mother. 

"Please, Buffy, don't choose Riley." 

Buffy was staring at her, tears marking her cheeks. "How do you know all this?" she asked finally. 

Becca brushed away her own tears and shrugged. "I just do." 

Buffy was shaking her head. "Who are you?" 

"I..." Becca hesitated, knowing she couldn't tell the truth. Especially not now. Finally she just shrugged again and tried to smile. "Someone who was sent to help," she said finally, hoping her voice wouldn't crack. "Just someone sent to make things work out right." 

"Are they going to?" Buffy's voice was tiny, that of a little girl begging her mother for reassurance and if things hadn't been so serious, Becca might have found it funny. Instead, she felt like her heart was breaking. 

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I think it's up to you now." 

"I don't know what to do," Buffy whispered mournfully. 

Becca gave her a sympathetic look but didn't dare say anything more. 

"Willow was right," Buffy said slowly. "The prophecy - it's about _my_ daughter. And you were right too. I've never told Riley I love him. He's said it to me, but I never said it back. I kept thinking I should, but the words always got stuck in my throat." 

She brushed at her eyes and Becca pretended not to notice her tears, even though all she really wanted to do was jump up and hug her mother until she was smiling again. 

"Was that true?" Buffy asked abruptly. "What you said, about my life if I married Riley... Is it really going to happen like that?" 

Becca remembered the pains and hurts of growing up on the Finn farm and nodded. 

"Then I suppose I start by breaking up with my boyfriend." She was silent for a very long moment. "Oh God, Becca, all I feel saying that is relief. I guess I really don't love him." The little girl's hurt was back in her voice. "Do you think I'll ever be able to love anyone?" 

"Yes," Becca insisted fiercely. "Yes. You have so much love to give. Give it to someone worthy." 

"Do you think so?" 

The uncertainty in her voice made Becca want to go out and stomp all over Riley Finn. 

"Yes," she said instead, putting all the truth and conviction she could into that one little word. "Yes," she repeated. "I know you can." Knowing she couldn't say it out loud, she completed sentence in her head. _Because you always loved me._

"Yes," Buffy whispered softly. "I'll love my daughter, and I'll make sure I love her father. We'll both love her. Thank you, Becca." 

She looked up, surprised to see the kitchen was empty, the only signs Becca had ever been there the half empty glass and the empty ice-cream bowl. 

"Becca?" 

But there was no reply, only the fading sound of footsteps running up the stairs. 

* * * * *

Buffy was already waiting in the diner when Riley arrived. He was a little miffed about that, because he had planned to have breakfast all ordered before she got there, to show that he could look after her like he had promised. Her and their baby. 

He leaned over to kiss her, but she pulled back and he was left brushing his lips against empty air. Confused, he sank into the seat opposite her. 

"What's wrong, Buffy?" 

Buffy wouldn't look at him, and something in the way she carefully stared at the menu on the chalkboard behind him, as if it was the most important thing in the world, made him suddenly nervous. 

"Buffy?" 

Finally, she shifted her gaze to meet his eyes. Her voice was quiet, so that he had to strain to hear it. "Riley, I don't think we should see each other any more." 

He stared at her, unable to comprehend what she was saying. "Is this because of last night?" He tried to gentle his voice, make her understand. "You said you wanted our daughter to have a normal life. She can't have one with the entire freak show hanging around. That's why we should get away and go some place else where no-one knows about all the weird stuff." 

"You're calling my friends a freak show?" Buffy's voice was dangerously calm, but Riley missed it altogether, too focussed on getting her to see things like they really were. 

"So that's a bit strong," he agreed. "But wherever they are, weirdness comes." 

"I'm the Slayer, Riley," Buffy pointed out. "The weirdness comes to _me_." 

He shook his head insistently. "It's Sunnydale. Just come with me and leave it behind." 

"I can't. That's not who I am. That's not who my daughter needs to be." 

"Our daughter," Riley corrected. 

But Buffy was shaking her head. "The prophecy doesn't talk about _our_ daughter, Riley. It talks about _my_ daughter. And you know what? I've realised I don't want you to be her father." 

Riley was staring at her, his eyes shocked and his mouth hanging somewhere around his ankles. 

"What do you mean?" he asked weakly. 

"Giles was right," Buffy told him. "The best thing I can do for my child is make sure she's ready. And trying to play at being normal isn't going to do that." 

"And how are _you_ going to do that?" Riley asked nastily. "You can't even look after yourself." 

"I'll learn," Buffy snapped back. "And Giles will help me. Giles - " 

"Giles!" Something inside Riley broke, unleashing a wave of bitterness and doubt. "It's always Giles, isn't it? I thought competition from a vampire was bad enough. But even before Angel comes Giles. I'm a pretty poor third down the list, aren't I?" 

"Riley..." 

Riley was too far gone to listen. "Giles, Giles, Giles. Next, you'll be telling me you're in love with him!" 

Buffy blinked, feeling a little like she's just been hit over the head with a large brick. Possibly an entire pallet of them. 

"I love Giles," she admitted. "But not..." 

"That's better than you ever managed for me." The fury suddenly spent, Riley leaned back in his chair and just looked at her. "You've never said you love me. Can you say it, Buffy? Cause if you can't, we really are through. I'm walking out that door and I'm not coming back." 

Buffy was silent. All she could hear was Becca's words in the kitchen at midnight. 

_Did you ever tell Riley you love him? Cause I can't remember it, not even once. Not ever._

_You have friends who love and care about you. You have Giles, who would die for you. Who loves you so much it hurts him. Don't turn them out of your life. Because the only way they will leave you is if you make them go._

Finally, she just dropped her eyes to the table, and stared at the cheap, checkered cloth. 

Riley sighed. "That's what I thought. I've just been fooling myself, hoping you'd fall in love with me." 

He reached across the table and forced her head up. "You say you want 'normal', Buffy. But you don't. That's what I was offering you. A chance to be normal. To raise our child without demons or vampires or risking your life every night. But that isn't what you really want. You want to be the best - the Slayer, the one no-one can match, not even your husband. So go to your Giles, who is old and stupid and happy to stand in your shadow and be your inferior. Have your children with him and don't come running to me when one day the darkness kills your friends and your family. Because I won't be interested." 

Buffy stared at him, seeing the cold hurt in his face, the humiliation of having his way, his choices, questioned and rejected. And she finally understood that Becca, however it was she knew, had been right. 

And she was furious. So astoundingly, blindingly angry that she didn't know where to begin. "Don't worry," she assured him coldly. "I hope I never see you again in my life. If I stayed with you, you'd turn me into something I'm not. Your imagined, perfect little wife. It's you that can't take it - that someone out there is stronger than you, better than you. Well, you know what buddy, I am. And I will never, ever settle for being anything that I'm not. 

"And you are _so_ wrong about Giles. He's not my inferior, he's my equal. If anything, he's my better. He compliments me - he's the parts of me that are missing and I'm only whole with him. Together, we can beat anything. We can face anything. And my daughter with Giles, she'll kick ass like nobody you've ever seen. And one day, when you're old and grey and the world still exists, you can come crawling to our feet, hers and mine, and thank us for the future we've given you. The future you would have denied the entire world by making us _normal_." 

Her voice on the last word was scathing, carrying enough acid to eat through the table. 

"I'm not normal, I'm the Slayer. And you better remember it, mister." 

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to control herself before she did something she'd regret. Like accidentally on purpose killing Riley and having to go on the run from the cops for the rest of her life. 

"Get out, Riley. Just go away and don't come back." 

"Do you really think an experienced man like Giles will stay to put up with a selfish child like you?" Riley's voice was ugly, his expression worse. 

"Do you really think a callow boy like you could ever satisfy me?" Buffy snapped back and was pleased and ashamed both at the same time to see she'd wounded him. "Giles hasn't left me yet, and I love him. You're right. I'm _in_ love with him. That's more than I can say about you." 

She gave him a sweet, gently vicious smile. "And Riley, thank you for making me see something I hadn't realised before. Thank you from saving me from the mistake of running off with the pretty boy and never seeing how much I love the man who has always been at my side." 

He didn't say another word. It looked like he couldn't have said a thing, even if he'd tried. He just walked out the door into the morning and, Buffy hoped, out of her life for good. 

Alone at last, she sank back in her seat, astounded at just much tension was slipping away with the knowledge Riley was gone. That she didn't have to play things his way any more, had only to be herself. 

Then she sat bolt upright, her heart hammering in her chest. 

"Oh my God. I'm in love with Giles." 


	8. Seven

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Seven * * * * *

The Scooby Gang - minus Buffy as had often been the case lately - were gathered in Giles' apartment. Even without Buffy, the addition of Becca and Wesley meant space was at a premium and Willow and Tara had ended up sitting on the floor while everyone else took what seats were available. 

Wesley was sitting at Giles' desk, poring over the copy of the manuscript he'd brought with him, while Giles himself had gone upstairs to find a book he thought he'd been reading in the loft one evening. 

That was when the door crashed open and Buffy came hurtling in, looking like there was an entire demonic army behind her. 

She glanced around the room in an instant and immediately came up one short. "Where's Giles?" 

Xander waved an arm in the vague direction of the loft. "Upstairs. What's the matter, Buff?" 

But Buffy was already charging up the stairs and he was talking to empty air. She knew she couldn't stop moving, because if she did, she might chicken out. All that fear and uncertainly she'd only just been able to give a name might stick out its leg and trip her up, side-track her so that she said something inane or careless like she usually did. 

Giles, hearing the commotion downstairs, walked out of his bedroom and straight into Buffy's oncoming rush. He would have staggered backwards and fallen except for the fact that she wrapped her arms around him and caught him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. 

The book he was carrying - fortunately a ratty modern paperback he didn't hold any great affection for - clattered to the floor as he tried to regain his balance. He did it the only way he could. By hugging her back. 

And that was when he realised that she was shaking. He tried to pull away from her a little, but she wouldn't let him, so all he could do was whisper into her hair. "Buffy, what's wrong?" 

Her voice was muffled, coming from somewhere in the vicinity of his chest. "I broke up with Riley." 

Part of his heart wanted to sing; the rest of it broke for her. He finally managed to pry himself loose enough to look down at her. Reluctantly, she raised her head to meet his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he said softly. "I know every misunderstanding seems like the end of the world, but I'm sure he'll come back." 

He was startled when she shook her head. "No. He didn't break up with me. I broke up with him and I'm glad I did." 

Giles moved from startled into totally confused. Certainly not an unknown state of mind when it came to Buffy, but generally disconcerting all the same. "I don't understand," he said slowly. "Yesterday, you said..." He glanced down at the group of people downstairs, all very carefully and obviously not listening. He shook his head. "And Becca..." 

Buffy smiled. The smile that had been missing so often of late; the one that made her face light up and the world get a little brighter, the one that made his heart do funny things that couldn't be good for a man of his age. 

"It was Becca that helped me see. That there's more than one way to fulfil a prophecy and it doesn't have to include making the most colossal mistake of my life." She looked at him ruefully. "And you know I've already made some _big_ ones." 

"Becca..." Giles said again helplessly. 

"Yeah, Becca, Parrot-man." Buffy grinned at him, before the smile faltered. "Well, her and Riley acting like a great big Mr Jerk. I'm so stupid sometimes." 

"You are _not_ stupid," Giles protested automatically. "Stubborn, short- sighted and occasionally wilfully blind, but not stupid." 

"I _think_ that's a compliment." She chuckled, her arms tightening around him, and it was only then that he realised they were still standing in each other's arms. It had felt so natural he hadn't even noticed. Suddenly embarrassed, overwhelmed, he pulled out of her arms. For a moment he thought she wasn't going to let him go, but she did finally, her entire posture tense. When he straightened, only a pace away from her, she began to relax again. 

"Giles, listen to me," she said earnestly and he could only nod, not knowing if he was going to like what he was about to hear or not. 

Buffy took a deep breath, then plunged in before she got too scared to keep going. "Giles... Ever since Angel left me, I've been so afraid. Too afraid to risk loving anyone in case my heart gets broken again. I don't think I could survive it a second time. Too afraid to let anyone love me, in case they work out what a big fraud I am." 

"I know," Giles said gently and she stared at him. 

"Buffy, I know you like..." He shrugged. "Like I've never known anyone before. Even when you shut me out, do you think I could miss that." He gentled his voice. "But you're not a fraud. You're just carrying a lot of scars. Anyone with sense, anyone who really loves you, can help you heal those hurts, not make them deeper." 

She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "See, you get it. Riley didn't. He never did. He wanted to be Mr Super Normal Guy and take me with him. I thought that was the answer. If I settled for normal, it would never hurt me the way Angel did. But Becca made me see that I'm not normal. I never will be. So trying for that is dumb." 

He was watching her grow up in front of his eyes. Like a seed, growing up through a crack in the ground and sprouting into a tree, growing taller and stronger, until it could touch the sky. The world could have ended around them and neither would have noticed, so caught up in that sudden blossoming. 

Buffy smiled at him, hesitant and composed, both at the same time. "And Giles, I'm not afraid any more." 

He couldn't help himself. He smiled, knowing his whole heart was in his eyes, but safe in the knowledge she wouldn't see it. She never had before; he didn't see her starting now. "That's good, Buffy." 

"So I'm going to act on it." She grinned at him. "But you're going to be shocked." 

"You haven't shocked me yet," he assured her. "Do you really think you'll be able to start now?" 

"I love you." 

For an instant, he couldn't breathe. Then reason overcame misplaced hope. "I know that, Buffy. We couldn't have worked together as we have for the last four years without developing some kind of affection." 

She shook her head, looking exasperated. "No, stupid. I'm in love with you." 

He forgot how to breathe again. For a lot longer this time. This was like a dream come true, expect that he had never let himself dream anything of the kind because it was too impossible. Buffy might be afraid of having her heart broken; she could break his with just a look. And had already done so many times. Like her, he didn't think it could stand it again. 

"Buffy, this is a very quick turnaround." But he knew he couldn't hide the hope in his eyes, and he was no longer so sure Buffy wouldn't understand it for exactly what it was. 

"I know this," she said simply. "I know it right down deep in my gut; in my heart and in my soul. But I was too afraid before to listen. I was afraid that if I loved you, you'd leave me. And I couldn't cope if you left me. I don't think I could live. But I'm not afraid any more and I can hear now, I can see it. Giles, I love you." 

He was speechless. More speechless that he had ever been in his life, and he'd had his moments before now. All he could do was look at her, all that carefully hidden love and desire written clearly on his face. 

And now he knew she _could_ see it, could read him like a book. After all this time, guarding this secret, he found he didn't care that he'd been found out. In that instant he didn't care what happened next; he just wanted to enjoy the feeling of no longer having to hide the biggest part of himself. The part of himself that reflected her. 

Buffy hadn't finished. "I want to stay with you forever. I want that daughter of mine to be yours. I want you there to love us and protect us and teach us how to stand on our own feet and be strong." 

He had to ask. He didn't know that he wanted to, but he had to all the same. "Buffy, are you sure?" 

She nodded. "I've never been surer." 

He felt like the world had turned both upside down _and_ inside out. This was so different from what he'd planned. From what he and... 

"Becca..." he said softly. 

To his surprise, Buffy nodded. "She was the one who made me stop and look and finally see." She smiled. "She really was sent here to make everything right, just like she said she was. Cause this is right. I know it is. You do too, don't you" 

"I..." Giles didn't know what to say. "Becca..." he said again. 

Buffy looked up at him, her heart in her eyes now, and it was almost enough to stop his own from beating. "Don't you love me?" she whispered. 

How else could he answer that but with the absolute truth? 

"Oh, Buffy. So much I can't say. I would do anything for you. Follow you anywhere." 

"Just stay here and love me? Love _us_." 

"Always," he promised, his voice breaking. "Always." 

Her face lit up, for some reason reminding him of an inane song he'd heard on the radio once when she was training. _The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades._

"So kiss me, dummy." 

What red-blooded man who had just been told the love of his live was in love with him could resist a challenge like that? 

He pulled her back into his arms and she came willingly. Her body moulded to his as if they had been doing this all their lives and he felt a spark of electricity shoot from one to the other and back again as they touched. 

He bent his head, she lifted hers and their lips touched. In that instant he knew that he was lost. If he had ever had a chance to escape the spell she cast over him, it was gone now. He was hers. She held his heart and happiness, his very soul in her tiny hands and all he could do was pray that she would never want to let him go. 

Buffy slipped her arms around Giles' neck, pulling him closer as if she could draw him into her heart and keep him there forever. The fear was gone, leaving in its place only peace and a sense that she had come home at last. She had found the place she was meant to be and she never, ever wanted to leave. 

The kiss, that had started gentle grew stronger, more passionate with each passing second. Buffy could feel Giles' hands, sliding up her back to her shoulder blades, rucking up the fabric of her shirt and sending shivers along her spine. She lifted her hands to his face, feeling his skin against her palms and gave herself up to the kiss, to him. 

Angel had been pain, Riley, a vain hope of normality; here there was passion and peace in equal measure. She leaned further into Giles' embrace and let herself fall, knowing at last that she had found the one who would always catch her. 

It was a kiss that could have gone on until they grew wrinkles and cobwebs, except for the fact that both participants gradually became aware of whistles and cheers coming from downstairs. 

Mortified, Buffy broke away from Giles. Looking down from the landing, she could see they had an audience. Most of the noise was coming from Xander, but when the people below saw her looking there was a round of spontaneous applause. 

She buried her head in Giles' chest, never more embarrassed in her entire life. It didn't help when she realised the helpless shaking she could feel against her cheek was Giles laughing. He disentangled her and lifted her face to his with a finger under her chin. 

"Take a bow, love. I think we've been set up, so we might as well be gracious about it." 

Unable to help herself, Buffy laughed and did as he suggested, making a flamboyant, if technically inaccurate, curtsey. Xander put his fingers in his mouth and wolf-whistled and she had to laugh again. 

He waved a fist in the air and called, "Go, G-man." 

"Don't call me that," Giles called down automatically, but he was smiling too. Not to be outdone by Buffy, he swept a courtly bow, straightened up again and pulled Buffy against his side. "Shall we go down, my dear." 

She looked up at him, a shimmer of tears in her eyes. "I'm going to like being your dear." 

He pulled her even closer, kissing her briefly to hide the tears in his own eyes. "For always," he promised huskily. 

She smiled, and she was the one who led him down the stairs. At the bottom, she was immediately swept into a hug by Willow and Xander. Giles watched them a second, before remembering Becca. 

She was smiling, but there was something wrong about her. It took a moment for him to realise she was fading, turning slowly translucent so that he could see just a hint of the bookcase behind her, showing right _through_ her. 

Seeing him watching, she clapped her hands a couple of times and blew him a kiss. 

Not knowing what else to do, he bowed again, seriously this time. _Thank you_, he mouthed silently. 

Tara caught the exchange and turned to look at Becca, her eyes going wide as she realised what it meant. 

Becca shook her head at Tara's distress. "I don't think I exist any more," she said softly, so that Giles could barely hear her. "In fact, from now on, I don't think I ever did. But it's okay." 

Still looking troubled, Tara managed to smile at her. "I think the Slayer's daughter just saved the world." 

The last exchange might have been missed by the room at large, but Willow turned at her girlfriend's words. 

"Buffy doesn't have a daughter yet," she pointed out. Then she gave her friend a wicked grin. "Although it looks like we know who the father will be now." 

Buffy blushed, but refused to rise to the bait. 

"And can't you just see Giles changing diapers?" Xander added with an indecent amount of glee. 

"You'd better learn too, _Uncle_ Xander," Buffy told him firmly and that shut him up completely. 

But it was Anya who had the last word, and it couldn't have been a more typically Anya statement if she'd been trying. "I hope you have lots of orgasms together," she said sincerely. "Almost as many as Xander and me." 

While Buffy spluttered and Xander tried to recover enough to explain, yet again, about the difference between public and private conversation, Giles found himself exchanging an amused look with Wesley. 

The younger man offered him his hand. "Congratulations, Mr Giles. I guess prophecy has its own way of making sure things work out." 

Giles shook his hand, making a mental resolution to give Wesley Wyndham- Pryce another chance. It looked like the young man deserved it. But there was something that was still bothering him, something still missing. 

And finally he worked out what it was. 

"Becca..." 

Buffy turned away from the congratulations of her friends and gave him a funny look. "Love, what are you talking about?" 

She was gone, Giles realised. She'd done what she came to do - she'd made her mother happy and he was still astounded that he was the one who could do that. And now, she was gone and he had no idea why he could still remember her. 

_I won't forget you,_ he promised a girl who had never existed. 

She had been someone remarkable. Some one should remember Rebecca Finn. 


	9. Epilogue

PARADOX  
By Sauscony 

E-mail: sauscony@forty-two.co.nz  
Rating: R for a couple of rude words  
Pairings: Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Giles (if you don't like either, stop reading now)  
Summary: A prophecy says the Slayer's daughter will save the world. But's who's to be her father? And is there someone out to change things? (Set in the summer between seasons four and five.)   
Disclaimer: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel_ characters are copyrighted ©20th Century Fox, Joss Whedon, Mutant Eniy, UPN and the WB, and are used without permission. No copyright infringment is intended. 

* * * * * Epilogue * * * * *

I never believed in Guardian Angels. 

With a family life like mine, how could I? If I'd had a angel to watch over me, why had he never shown up and done something to make everything right. I'd begged for one often enough and nothing had ever changed. 

Still, I'm prepared to concede that Fate might not actually suck - having had a few conversations with her now, I find I actually kind of like her. And boy does _she_ have a tough job. Not for me, thank you very much! 

But she certainly has a very ironic and occasionally totally macabre sense of humour. 

Because there's a little girl out there who is destined to save the world one day. Just like her mother used to do. And she _does_ have a Guardian Angel keeping an eye on her, with permission to give things a bit of a nudge when they really need it. 

She's the kind of person who makes everyone who knows her love her. 

She has wonderful parents who adore each other and love her to distraction. She has another Angel, who is anything but an angel, who watches over her, not only because she is his hope of redemption, but for her own sake also, unaware of what Fate has planned for them. She has family and friends and a host on honorary aunts and uncles and cousins, who take her on picnics and send her presents on her birthday and always feel that the room is a little brighter when she is in it. 

And she has me - someone who should never have existed but did all the same - her own personal Guardian Angel. We even get to talk sometimes, her and me, but there is no real place for me in her existence and I make sure I avoid her parents. 

I was given permission to talk to father once. To tell him I had no regrets, that there was nothing I would change, even if I could. I'm not sure if he believed me or not, but he wanted to, so he let me convince him. He asked me how he could thank me. The answer to that one was easy. Love his wife and love his daughter. It's not like he needed me to tell him that. He couldn't stop if he tried. 

And when the time comes and that daughter faces the End of the World, we will all be standing at her side in some way or other, and I will be the first among her allies and her supporters. That's my job now, watching her and loving her, protecting her and guiding her. 

Despite having a tough destiny and the fate of the world on her shoulders, she's still one very lucky little girl, is Sara Anne Giles. 


End file.
